Ok, I have confession to make.  I didn’t get to watch much of either game today, though I did watch most of both games yesterday.  From what I’m reading that UNC-Georgetown game must have been a real barn-burner.  I have it on DVR, so maybe I’ll watch it here in a minute.  But I know you all are just dying to get your Final Four awards, so first things first.

Here’s my assessment of the Final Four.

1. Big Ugly – U-G-L-Y you ain’t got no alibi, you ugly…Somehow, I don’t think Joakim Noahcares about gracing the cover of GQ.  The guy with the face only a mother could love (and his mother happens to be a model, by the way), a wierd name, big hair, and an even bigger game is poised to do what no one has done since Christian Laettner stepped on Aminu Timberlake in 1992 – win two consecutive NCAA Championships.  With the likes of Horford and Humphrey backing him up, it’s hard to imagine anyone sinking Noah’s ark.
2. Double A – UCLA is showing up for, what, its 200th Final Four or something like that?  UCLA was winning basketball championships when Washington crossed the Delaware.  This generation of the prodigy of the Wizard of Westwood arrives in Atlanta on the shoulders of one Aaron Afflalo, who in the past has been criticized for not showing up for big games.  Vengeance will be a key motivator when essentially the same Bruins meet essentially the same Gators in a rematch of last year’s championship game.  Can they get it done this year, or will lightning strike twice?
3. The Ogre– He’s 7 foot, 280 pounds of bearded, menacing, monstrous muscle.  He blocks shots with alarming regularity, and changes all the others.  He’s the Beast of the Big Ten, Greg Oden, and he’s got something to prove, namely, that he can get through a game without getting into foul trouble.  If you’ve been payng attention, though, there are these other two guys named Conley and Lewis that look like the second coming of Jordan and Pippen.  These guys are good.  Really good.  It’s scary to think just how good they could be with a mature Greg Oden who can learn to stop hacking down at the shooter and stay out of foul trouble.
4. The Traveling Man– “I’ve…been…to…New York, Hackensack, Buffalo, Pocono…”  By now Georgetown star Jeff Greenhas earned his place in March Madness lore as the guy who got away with a move Patrick Ewing would be proud of, the old double-spin-pick-up-your-pivot-foot-on-the-way-to-the-winning-basket bank shot.  Many of us in the contest will remember 1982 when the Georgetown guard passed to the wrong man and lost the championship.  Revenge is sweet, even if it’s 25 years later.  These guys believe they have some sort of destiny to fulfill.  Question is, will that get them past The Ogre and his band of merry men?

Alright, so here’s my expert opinion, which coupled with 4 bucks will get you a Starbucks.  As good as Oden and Conley are, they are freshmen.  I think Ohio State is good enough to get past Georgetown, who after winning one game on a blown traveling call and another basically because of the Kansas Curse, have run out of magic and out of miracles.  The Georgetown bandwagon falls apart in Atlanta.  That’s not how I picked it, but that’s what I think.

UCLA plays great defense…when the refs let them decapitate their opponents with impunity.  Even so, they are not going to out-physical Big Ugly and the Gators, no matter how the game is called.  A convincing argument could be made that Florida has looked shaky along the way.  I think they’re bored.  But now it’s the Final Four, and it’s time to play, time to make history.  Florida wins this one, and in a blow out, I might add.

So for the championship, as good as Oden and Conley are, they are freshmen.  One only need to remember a certain cadre of five freshmen from the early 90s to understand how important maturity is in comparison to raw talent.  Noah, Horford, and Brewer are all juniors who returned to Florida instead of going pro for one reason, and one reason only – to be the first team to repeat in 15 years.  Add to that Humphrey’s sharp shooting and senior leadership, and you have what it takes to get the job done.  That’s my pick.  Gators do it again.

Final Four Awards

Despite the utter lack of upsets this year, what a great contest this has been!  It seems to me that there has been a lot of movement in the standings, and that is what keeps it interesting.  The outcome, even for first place, is not a foregone conclusion just yet, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.  It’s time to recognize the worthy and castigate the culpable.

• The Fantastic Four award goes to the surprisingly large group of contestants who correctly picked the Final Four this year with Original Picks: Ben Watkins, Brooke Johnson, Buckey Franz, Caleb Davis, Chuck Sage, Darren Reiner, Fred Cordes, Gary DeLong, Jason Glassley, Jim Burris, Jim Davis, Josh Steiner, Kory Wilcoxson, Matt Chura, Matt Cope, Mike Marietta, Patty Darnall, Ted Badgley, and Toby Risner.  Four of these contestants are in the top 10, and 8 are in the top 25.  On the other hand, 8 didn’t even make the top 50.
• The Mary Poppins Practically Perfect In Every Way award goes to any contestant who picked all 15 games in a regional correctly with Original Picks.
  • East – Jody Albright
  • South – Alan Theile, Brooke Johnson, Caleb Davis, Jonathan Barndt, Kristin Schafer, Patty Darnall (two teens, one kid, three females)
• The Rising Star award goes to those who gained the most ground this weekend: Ted Badgley from 190 to 81, and Clint Ferguson from 58 to 25.
• The Crash and Burn award goes to those who lost the most ground this weekend: Bradley Geiswhite from 44 to 140, and Ben Crone from 25 to 54.
• The Porky Pig award (badeep, badeep, badeep, badeep That’s All, Folks!) goes to the army of contestants with no remaining games they can win.  You know who you are.  Better luck next year.  The really bad news is that as other contestants continue to win games next weekend, your position will continue to go DOWN.  How’s that for insult to injury?
• The You’re Breakin’ My Heart award goes to my brother, Joshua Marshall, who confessed that he doesn’t read the blog this year.  Why in the world would you even play if you’re not going to read the commentary and awards? 
• The Gloom, Despair, and Agony on Me (Waoooh!) award goes to Bryson “The Loveable Loser” Davis.  Bryson is the biggest sports nut in his family, and they are all beating him in the contest…by a lot.
• The You Gotta Be Kidding Me award goes to Patty “Pabby” Darnall.  9th place.  ‘Nuf said.
• Finally, the Don’t Call Me Hillary award goes to Carrrr-ne Asada, aka Brooke Johnson, the clear front runner, and with a comfortable lead, I might add.  She, and I emphasize the SHE, doesn’t have it locked up yet, but she has to like her chances.  I sure do.

Three games to go.  It is worth noting that a championship by UCLA will earn 13 lucky contestants the Ultimate Scategories Bonus of 30 points.  This bonus has never been awarded in 12 years, so wouldn’t that be something?  I must say I am rather disappointed that NO Scategories bonuses were earned this year, but in a year with so few upsets, it’s not surprising. 

See you after the Final Four.  May the best..ahem…man win.

• The Crime – I didn’t see it when it happened, but I heard about it.  The I saw it on replay.  What should have been the biggest upset of the tournament so far, and should have generated a huge bonus for a few contestants, didn’t happen because of a blown call.  Vanderbilt, and the folks who picked them, were robbed.  Down by one with less than 5 seconds to play, Georgetown’s Jeff Green caught the ball and bobbled it in the post.  After clearly pivoting on his right foot, he switched pivot feet to his left and made the spinning bank shot that turned out to be the game winner.  Replay clearly shows the he traveled, and in my opinion, replay shouldn’t have been needed.  I recognized it the first time I watched it in real time speed.  Now, I don’t have an axe to grind.  I picked Georgetown.  It’s just plain wrong to lose a game by one point in the final seconds on an easy blown call.  I mean, that’s not even controversial, folks.  He walked.  Period.
• The Punishment – With the game slipping away from USC, after having lead by significant double-digits in the second half, head coach Tim Floyd made the Boneheaded Play of the Day by tossing whatever papers he had in his hand at the official.  This earned him a technical foul and sealed USC’s fate. 
• Familiar Theme, Unfamiliar Result – I feel like I keep watching the same game over and over and over again.  The lower-seeded underdog jumps out to an early lead, and then continues to punish the favorite with sharp shooting, heady play, and great hustle.  You name the game and the team: Butler, Tennessee, Texas A&M, Vanderbilt, UNLV – the list is a lot longer.  In years past, at least some of these underdogs get the job done, toppling the favored seed from its lofty perch.  Not this year.  Every game has a familiar ending, some by the hair of their chinny-chin-chin, and others by a margin that belies the closeness of the game.  This year’s Elite Eight consists of 7 of the top 8 seeds in the tournament, and the lone invader is a 3 seed.  You have to go back 14 years just to find the last time all four number ones advanced to the Elite Eight.  I’m not the resident March Madness historian, but I’d be willing to guess that this has never happened before. 

So we’re all set for the clash of the titans, three 1 vs. 2 matchups and one 1 vs. 3.  The NCAA committee must be wetting themselves with glee, they did such a good job.  For us, what this scenario has done is made the contest incredibly close.  There is a lot of movement in the standings from game to game, because very few points separate large groups of contestants.  This is because with hardly any upsets this year, there have been very few bonus points.  There were four opportuntities for a Scategories bonus tonight, and NOT ONE came to pass.

But that does not mean that no interesting possibilities remain.  Folks who picked UCLA, Oregon, or Memphis to win it all stand to score A LOT of points if they do.  So keep your eye on the standings, and don’t rip up your brackets just yet.  The contest is not over.

Round 3 Awards

• The Crazy 8’s award goes to the 11 contestants who picked all 8 of the Elite Eight teams correctly with their Original Picks: Andrew Barndt, Austin Stickney, Bob Weber, Chris Jones, Christopher Bechtold, Heather Di Iulio, Jason Dailey, Jim Shaffer, Scott Renier, Sir Baller III, and Zach Coffin.  As amazing as this may sound, it does not guarantee a good standing in the contest.  Sir Baller III (please enter your REAL NAME next year…PLEASE) is 18th.  Jim Shaffer is 149th.
• The Who Are You and Where Did You Come From award goes to Neil Harrison who snuck into 3rd place while no one was looking, especially not me.
• The Old Grudges Die Hard award goes to my lovely wife, Heather Little.  It has been a running joke for many years how she always finishes ahead of my good friend, Brad “Ahmagwana Kickbooty” Schafer.  For most of this year’s contest, she has trailed him by a wide margin.  Don’t look now, Brad, but she’s exactly one point and six positions behind you.
• The Biggest Winner award for round 3 goes to the precocious Austin Stickney who climbed from 50th to 22nd.
• The Biggest Loser award for round 3 goes to Rob Turner who dropped like a rock from 19th to 75th.
• The GI-Jane award goes to Brooke “Carrrr-ne Asada” Johnson, who leads our contest by three points going into the final three rounds.  Remember, no woman has ever won the contest.

It’s time for the weekend and the regional championships, which will determine the Final Four.  Don’t underestimate the power of that single bonus point for a 2 winning over a 1.  If you look at the standings you will see that sometimes as many as a half dozen contestants are tied in terms of points, and their position is determined by winning percentage and bonus points.  So if you picked even a minor upset, root, pray, stand on your head – do whatever you do – because a win by the likes of Oregon, Memphis, Georgetown, or UCLA could make a big difference

So I’m here in Starbucks enjoying my second cup of $4 coffee, thinking about all the basketball I’ve seen over the past four days, and looking over the contest results to decide who is worthy of recognition…or derision, whatever the case may be.  One thing I’ve decided for sure is that the music they play in the local 24-hour Starbucks has to be themost annoying I’ve ever heard.  Speaking of annoying, it has to be time for my yearly rant about the coverage of the Can’t Broadcast Sports network.  Let me start by saying that there are some CBS employees that I truly enjoy, among them Clark Kellogg, Gus Johnson, Len Elmore, Bill Raftery, and Ian Eagle, just because his name is so stinking cool.  However, as a broadcasting company, they seem to be putting together a poorer product on a yearly basis.  I don’t know how it is where you sit, but so far I have endured random switching back and forth between HD and Standard Definition (SD) programming, inexplicable cutovers to blow-out games of non-regional interest, and endless commercial interruptions.  Besides all that, I continue to have to endure the mindless banter of Seth Davis, and the inconscionable choice of Jim Nantz and Billy Packeras the “first-team” of announcers.  At least we don’t have to listen to Packer ramble on about Duke this year.

Day Four Observations

• Defense Wins Championships? – We waited four days for an upset of real consequence and finally got it with UNLV’s toppling of Wisconsin.  Most of us believed that the most undeserving 2 seed was Memphis, but I must say that Memphis looked sharp while Wisconsin looked dead.  Defense may win championships, but scoring points is pretty much non-negotiable, and Wisconsin was demonstrating a noticeable inability to put points on the board.
• Repeat? – The Florida Gators are the second top seed of the weekend to look extremely vulnerable, needing every club in the bag to put away pesky Purduein a game 14 contestants were praying Purdue would win.  Let’s face it.  Purdue should be no match for a top seed, which makes Florida’s chances to be the first team to repeat since Duke dubious at best.
• Turned Into A Pumpkin – So much for Cinderella.  The last remaining double-digit seed, Winthrop, was dispatched by Oregon in a game that was never as close as the final score.  It has been at least 13 years, and maybe longer, since we had a Sweet 16 without any teams seeded 10 or higher.
• There’s Always The Celtics – Perhaps Texas’ Kevin Durantwas too busy counting his forthcoming NBA cash to care about showing up for tonight’s matchup with USC.  The Longhorns were blown out of the gym…by USC…in basketball.  What’s the world coming to?
• Mid Majors Make The Grade – Perhaps the reason we don’t see double-digit seeds in the Sweet 16 this year is because the committee finally rewarded top-tier Mid-Major programs with excellent seeds this year.  Thus, perennial Cinderellas Butler and Southern Illinois make their appearances in the Sweet 16 as expected, rather than “by surprise”.  Southern Illinois was my one “risky” Final Four pick, and while Kansas will be a tremendous challenge, I still think they can do it.  Anybody else have any doubt that Butler can handle Florida?  Just because they have a 5 beside their name this year doesn’t mean that a Final Four appearance by the Butler Bulldogs wouldn’t be a Cinderella moment.
• By The Numbers– This year’s seed performance is downright historic.  As I’ve already mentioned, not one double-digit seed made the Sweet 16, but it goes even further than that.  No 10, 12, 13, or 14 won a single game.  As far as I can tell, that has neverhappened before.  This year’s Sweet 16 consists of all four 1 seeds, three 2 seeds, three 3 seeds, one 4 seed, three 5 seeds, a 6 and a 7.  Historically, the 5’s never do this well, and the 4’s rarely do this poorly.  When it comes to your re-picks, remember two important Iron Laws of March Madness:
  • No 7 seed has ever made the Final Four.
  • It has never happened that all four 1 seeds have made the Final Four.

Enough pontificating.  It’s time for the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the round two awards.

Round Two Awards

• The Sky Is Falling award, sponsored by Chicken Little, goes to John Lederman, who fell from 23rd to 190th since the end of round one.  This is, without doubt, divine retribution for John calling me on the phone on Tuesday and giving me a hard time.
• The Big Rebound award, sponsored by Dennis Rodman, goes to Amy Keener, who bounced back from 210th to 24th.  For your prize, Amy, you’ll receive one free dye job, body piercing, or tattoo of your choice.
• The 12-Step Program award goes to Mason Gallmeyer, who stopped me at church this morning and asked, “Why am I so addicted to this thing?  There’s not even a prize, and I can’t say off the website.”  If you, like Mason, suffer from JMMCA (Jeff’s March Madness Contest Addiction), call 1-800-NO-MO-MAD to talk to a trained counselor.  We at Jeff’s March Madness Contest, Inc., want you to enjoy the contest, but please, play responsibly.
• The Most Ridiculous Item Of The Day award, sponsored by Bill O’Reily, goes to Angie Davis, who is in 28th place but confessed that she got the scoop on whom to pick from a high school student in the class for which she was substituting last week.  Angie also gets the Trash Talking award for telling the Contest Manager he was, quote, “Ate Up” for creating the contest in the first place. 
• The It Could Happen, But Not To You award goes to Richard Schrimpf, last year’s contest champion, who now resides in 86th.  This goes to show that repeating as contest champion is just as hard as repeating as NCAA champion.
• The You Must Be Blond Award Of Utter Confusion goes to Tom Gidley, whose alias garnered a chuckle from teh contest manager: “The Colts Will Win This Tournament, Too!”
• The You’ve Hit The Sophomore Wall award goes to last year’s Rookie of the Year award winner, Janae Dailey, who is 195th.
• The Careful What You Wish For award goes to Janae’s husband, Justin Dailey, whose alias reveals that he might have preferred her picks.  Maybe not.  Justin is in 37th.
• The I Love This Awesome Scoring System award goes to Kyle Gratz, who thanks to 20 bonus points finds himself 10 points and 22 places ahead of the next contestant with the same number of base points that he has (51), Amy Keener.
• The I Hate This Stupid Scoring System award goes to Jimbo Hillman, who despite having a respectable 50 base points, which is only 5 less than the highest in the contest of 55, has only 1 bonus point for a total score of 51 and 115th place.
• The Unbelievable Picking Prowess award goes to those contestants who managed to pick all 12 games in any region correctly.  The region-by-region winners are:
  • East: Jody Albright
  • West: Austin Stickney and Mark Humphrey
  • Midwest: None
  • (The Incredibly Easy) South: Alan Theile, Alex Boswell, Angie Davis, Brooke Johnson, Caleb Davis, Derrick Graves, Eric Braga, Jonathan Barndt, Kristin Schafer, Kyle Gratz, Matt Cope, Neil Harrison, Patty Darnall, and Tina Pickhardt
• The You Don’t Know Diddly award goes to Dave “Knows Picks” Barndt.  Position: 285th.
• The Most Hilarious Alias award goes to Toby “Ahmagwana put ROUNDUP on your booty” Risner.  ROTFL.  As a corollary, the Most Intense Rivalry award goes to all the “Weed Killers” in the contest and their frightening obsession with beating Brad Schafer, aka, Ahmagwana Kickbooty.
• And finally, the I Finally Won The Stupid Tiebreaker And Got First Place award goes to Kathy Thomas, a yearly contestant whose time may have come to prevail.  Kathy has spent the majority of the weekend tied for first in points but losing out due to the first tiebreaker, winning percentage.  She’s still tied for first in terms of points, but came out on top by virtue of the tiebreaker.  A woman has never won our contest (though one has come in second).  Is this the year it happens?

So that’s it.  I am now officially blogged out.  It’s time for the Contest to respond with some comments while I take a break.  Maybe you’ve been reading the blog but haven’t subscribed to comment.  Now is your chance.  Also, don’t forget to do your REPICKS before Thursday at 6:00 PM.  Instructions have been emailed to all contestants, and can be found here.

Living The Madness

The field has been trimmed in half, and the contest is taking shape as well, as it is wont to do after round one. 

• Playing Favorites – Looks like this could be the year of the ugly step-sister, because Cinderella is scrubbing some floor somewhere.  I don’t know what the record is for least first-round upsets, but this year has to be close.  Of the 32 games played so far, only five were won by the lower seed, and three of those were 9’s.  Speaking of seeds…
• Double-digit Equals Double-trouble – In a normal year, a 10 seed gets the best of a 2 seed and makes the final four.  In a normal year, two 12 seeds win once, and one wins twice.  This year, out of 28 teams seeded 10 or worse, only two managed a victory, and both were 11’s.  This begs the question…
• Is the Glass Half Empty, or Half Full? – Does the fact that there were so few upsets make this year’s contest easy to pick, or hard to pick?  Consider this: the median number of wins per contestant is about 22, which is a winning percentage of .710.  The region where we doing the worst, the West, we are still picking 2 out of 3 games correctly.
• Your Prayer Has Been Answered – Did you see Purdue’s Chris Kramer drive into the lane, slip, and then fall to his knees?  You can’t get up or they’ll call you for traveling.  So what do you do?  Why, you shoot it, of course, right from your knees.  Two bounces on the rim and through the net, no problem.
• Welcome Back To Reality – Jackson State was going to be the first 16 seed to win a game.  Then they untied the Florida players’ hands.
• The Bone-headed Play of the Day award goes to Kentucky’s Randolph Morris, who, when faced with a shot from point-blank range, went up strong with his right hand with the ball still safely gripped in his left.  No matter.  The Wildcats still won in rather convincing fashion.  Speaking of Wildcats…
• According to the Mascot Watch Report, the Cats are 4-6, the Dogs are 4-2, and the Military icons are 6-3.  Not sure what that means, but it’s interesting, nonetheless.

Round One Awards

• The Rising Star award goes to Bryson Davis, who climbed from 258th to 15th position today.
• The Falling Star award goes to Amy Klinker, who dropped from 12th to 259th position on the same day.
• The They Don’t Call It March Madness For Nothin’ award goes to Alicia Davis, who was as high as 21st and as low as 290th, all in one day, before settling in at 35th.
• The Perfect Picker award, sponsored by Peter Piper, goes to the contestants who picked all 8 games correctly in one of the four regions.  For each region, the winners are:
  • East: Doris Goehringer, Randy Koran, Mark Humphrey, Alan Theile, Andrew Barndt, Thomas Kline, Josh Kincheloe, Bill Bailey, Chris Jones, Patty Brown, Jody Albright, Tony Heard, Brooke Johnson, Kristin Schafer, Bill DeWandeler, Shannon Shumar, Steve Glassley
  • West: Ben Crone, Mark Humphrey, Austin Stickney, Bill Armstrong
  • South: 56 people.  No way am I typing all those names.
  • Midwest: Ben Crone, Braden Murray, John Lederman, Mark Humphrey, Michelle Schroeder, Mike Regina, Pete Klinker, Randy Cowell, Zach Chambers
  • Congratulations.  You all win a peck of pickled peppers.
• The Schleprock Award For Utter Futility goes to Logicalman Tony Scott, who thought he would be clever, I guess, and pick the lower seed to win every game.  In doing so, he managed to win just five games, and if not for the repicks, would be the earliest exit in contest history with no winnable games left!
• The What Idiot Came Up With This Stupid Scoring System award goes to Jason “Iona Frisbee” Dailey and Drew Long.  They are both 27-5, but because they made the weenie picks, they have zero bonus points, placing them solidly in a tie for 163rd.
• The I Might Beat Ya’, But I’d Never Cheat Ya’ award goes to Brad Schafer, who accused the Contest Manager of foul play since he is currently tied with him for 7th place.
• The At Least Your Team Won award goes to Ted “Boiler in Hog Heaven” Badgley, who had better be enjoying that Purdue win immensely, since he is 307th in the contest.
• And finally, the Round One Blue Ribbon award goes to Mark OSUHumphrey, who went 30-2 and is in sole possession of first place with 43 points.  Don’t look now, but those Taco Bell lions are right on your heels (look at the standings and you’ll get the joke).

Ok folks, time to take a deep breath and prepare for round two.  Here’s hoping we see some upsets this weekend, or at least some close games.