Don’t let it end like this.  Tell them I said something. – Pancho Villa

One Shining Moment

Now we close the book on another tournament and another edition of Jeff’s March Madness Contest.  As I sit here waiting for One Shining Moment – one of my favorite parts of the entire spectacle, I must say – I put fingers to keyboard one final time to share my thoughts, quips, and wit with you, my gracious and captive audience.

First, I offer a few thoughts about a very entertaining, very competitive championship game.

Spike This

I’m not sure I’ve seen a game where the losing team had so many impressive performances.  In fact, four of five of Michigan’s starters shot 50% or better from the floor.  At one point in this game Michigan’s Spike Albrecht was shooting a perfect 100% from the floor…for the tournament.  I believe he missed his final three attempts, but finished with 17 points and undoubtedly some sort of NCAA tournament record.

Go Go Gadget Arms

The Dunk That Made You Say “Now Way” award goes to Louisville’s Gourgi Dieng.  When Peyton Siva tossed that ball in the air for the alley oop, I have to admit that my thought process went something like this.  “That was stupid.  There’s no way he’ll ever to get to tha….(out loud) OOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!!  DID YOU SEE THAT???!!!!!”  There was no one else in the room.

Signature Performance

I know I’ve used the John Hancock pun already, but it’s fitting after an unlikely bench player – not Trey Burke, not Russ Smith – Luke Hancock wins the Final Four’s Most Outstanding Player award.

Making History

The History Maker award goes to Louisville coach Rick Pitino.  Love him or hate him, he distinguished himself as one of the all time greats today.  He was inducted into the basketball hall of fame, won a national championship, and became the first coach to ever win two championships with two different teams.  Apparently, he’s also getting a tattoo, but I’m not sure why that’s significant.

The Booby Prizes

It’s time to hand out a few well-deserved “awards” for matters trivial, irritating, and otherwise completely random.

• The What Will They Sponsor Next, The Time Outs? award goes to Werner Ladder for providing the official ladder for the traditional cutting down of the nets.  Official ladder.  Of the NCAA tournament.  Really?
• The Grumpy Old Men award goes to CBS’s desk crew who bickered like a bunch of old women after the game as Greg Gumbel tried to maintain some sense of decorum.
• I’ll give myself the You Need To Take Thumper’s Advice award, because I am aware that I have been known to bad-mouth CBS’s motley crew of sports analysts over the years.  Seth Davis, Mike Francessa, and the insufferable Billy Packer drove me bonkers for years.  But this year CBS absolutely outdid themselves with the triumvirate of mind-numbing absurdity, Kenny Smith, Doug Gottleib, and Charles Barkley.  Please, send these NBA bozos back where they came from and give us some respectable college analysts.  Oh, wait, they all work for ESPN.
• The Other Creepy Doppelganger award goes to Luke Furr, who not only shares the same first name as the Final Four MOP, but also bears a striking resemblance right down to the beard.  Fear the beard!
• The Lousy Service, Great Commercials award goes to AT&T, whose mobile service I wouldn’t purchase if they were the last provider on earth, but whose “which is better” commercials were the advertising joy of the tournament.  If you haven’t seen the ones that feature basketball legends Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul Jabar, and Bill Russell, look them up on YouTube.

Final Contest Awards

Drum roll please.  It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for.  Here are the 18th annual Jeff’s March Madness Contest final awards.

• The Rookie Of The Year award goes to Colman Goodwin, who finished 5th overall in his first year in the contest.
• The King Of The Hill award goes to AJ “TheBracketKing” Spuches, who was the second place finisher in the 12 and under age bracket and wins the award because the top kid already won Rookie of the Year.  AJ finished 12th overall.
• The One Direction award goes to teen sensation Connor Gillig, our top finisher in the 13-19 age bracket and 34th overall.  As punishment, Connor will be forced to listen to One Direction’s annoying hit “Live While We’re Young” 100 times in succession.
• The Great Gatsby award goes to the victor of the roaring twenty-somethings, Shane Svenpladsen, third place finisher overall.  Shane will receive two free tickets to the upcoming film version of the F. Scott Fitzgerald classic.
• The 30 Rock award goes to Toby “The Ammonite” Schneckloth, winner of the thirty-something age bracket and 8th place finisher overall.  Toby will receive a Capitol One credit card signed by Alec Baldwin.  What’s in your wallet?
• The Mid-life Crisis award goes to Brian “Mooch Madness” Gaffney, second place finisher in the 40-49 age bracket (the winner of this age bracket will be getting a different award), and fourth place finisher overall.
• The Book ‘Em, Dan-o award goes to Charles Parrish, top finisher in the 50th decade and 31st overall.  Charles will get a no-expenses-paid trip to Hawai’i.  See Kip Layman for details.
• The Rumors Of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated award goes to Sam Randazzo, winner of the seniors age bracket and second place finisher overall.  Sam will receive the complete set of classic novels by Mark Twain, which I am sure he will promptly being hurling at his other family members who he soundly defeated this year.
• Speaking of family members, the Survey Says award goes to those with the surname Goodwin, winners of this year’s family feud.
• The No Girls Allowed award goes to this year’s men, who soundly defeated the women, maintaining the honored tradition of Spanky, Alfalfa, and Buckwheat.
• The I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar award goes to Kristen “Ohio Who?” Perkins, the contest’s top female finisher and sixth overall.
• The Just Like Grape award, given in honor of the wisdom of Mr. Miaggi from The Karate Kid, goes to Emma Fair who finished right in the middle of the road in 331st.  Rob Fair will have to explain the joke to her.
• The I Ask You This Every Year, But Is That Your REAL Name? award goes to seventh place finisher Skid Booles.  That’s a basketball name if there ever was one.
• The Mission Accomplished award goes to Jonathan “Going For Ninth Place” Hand, who finished exactly there in ninth place.  Jonathan will receive a signed photograph of former President George W. Bush on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln.
• The What Can Brown Do For You? award goes to tenth place finisher Doug Brown who will receive his very own decommissioned UPS truck.
• The annual I Love This Awesome Scoring System award goes to the contestant who finished highest with a winning percentage below .500.  This year’s winner is Trevis Litherland who finished 15th with a winning percentage of .460.
• The also annual I Hate This Stupid Scoring System award goes to the contestant who finished the lowest with a winning percentage above .700.  This year’s winner is 33rd place contestant Andy “Bringin’ The Pane” Glassley who finished with a winning percentage of .714.
• The Top Prognosticator award goes to the contestant who picked the most games right.  While it was a tie with the aforementioned Mr. Glassley, the award goes to Chas Harper who finished higher in the final standings at 19th.
• And finally, the Contest Champion, The Top Dog, The Head Hancho, The Big Cheese, The Grand Poo-Bah Of Prognostication award goes to this year’s winner, David “pick the mascots” Ricks.  I don’t know if David actually used that strategy, but it proved effective.  David won a respectable two-thirds of his games, had both participants in the national championship game correct with original picks, and picked the correct national champion.  David is a contest rookie to boot.  So congratulations, David.  Here’s hoping you’ve been following along and that you return next year to defend your title.  Congratulations!

Final Thanks

And with that, I offer my heart-felt thanks to the 661 folks who once again made my yearly little spectacle so much fun.  I appreciate all of the tweets, Facebook posts, emails, and text messages.  Many of you who I never met face to face truly feel like old friends.  For you first timers, I hope you enjoyed yourself and found it to be worthwhile in some way.  I hope to see you all back next year for the 19th edition.  Until then, may God richly bless you all with good health, long life, and lots of laughter.

Stepping back behind the curtain,

The Wizard of Whiteland

Contest Home Page

I’m not strange, weird, off, nor crazy, my reality is just different from yours. – Lewis Carroll

Strap in as we take a trip through the looking glass in tonight’s commentary, as the standings have been turned completely on their head.  But first, a few game observations…

Play Angry, Earn Respect

Early in the second half of the game between Wichita State and Louisville, I posted to Facebook that I thought when the game came to an end, we’d be saying, “Wait, what just happened?”  Even though the outcome was as expected in terms of the winner, I still think that’s an accurate assessment.  That Louisville won is about the only thing about this game that went according to script.

Cool Hand Luke

Check the stat line for Louisville’s starters and you’ll wonder how in the world they won this game.  They were 10-33 from the floor for 38 points.  Even though Russ Smith had 21 points, he was 5-12 from the free throw line.  Left to the starters, Louisville would have been throttled in this game.  The unlikely heroes were the bench players led by Luke Hancock who definitely left his signature on this one: 20 points on 6-9 shooting including 3-5 from three point range.  Add two crucial three pointers from walk-on Tim Henderson (who?), and you have what Louisville had to do to win this game.  They got production from bench players after the Shockers succeeded in taking them out of their primary game plan.

Parade To The Free Throw Line

I saw some chatter in the Social Media Verse, mainly from Louisville fans, complaining about the officiating.  In my view, this was one of the few games of the tournament actually called properly for the most part.  We became so accustomed to basketbrawl in this tournament that when a crew actually called legitimate fouls, it felt like they were whistle happy.  Again, check the stat sheet – 23 personal fouls on Louisville and 20 on Wichita State.

I believe the two worst calls of the game came against Wichita State late in the game.  The first was the double foul on Baker and Van Treese.  Where’s the replay monitor review on that play?  Baker got smashed in the neck and the face, but no flagrant was called.  The second was the final jump ball which punctuates all that is wrong with the incredibly stupid alternating possession rule in college basketball.  That rule is a relic of an ancient past where jump balls delayed the game.  Those days are over.  Besides that whistle being way too quick, “the arrow” made that held ball just as good as a steal for Louisville, and it came at a critical point in the game.  That rule has got to go.

Chuck Was Right

As much as I hate to admit it, it seems that Charles Barkley was on target when he said at halftime that, in order to win, Louisville had to score 65 points.  I think he was right.  If the Shockers had been able to maintain their pressure and poise and held Louisville below that toal, it would have been enough to win.

Score Early, Score Often

I was truly impressed with Wichita State, perhaps more so than I ever have been by a losing team with the possible exception of Butler’s heartbreaking loss to Duke three years ago.  State’s Cleanthony Early was a monster.  He led all scorers with 24 and had the game’s only double double with 10 rebounds to go with those points.  Hancock’s heroics make him the MVP, but Early gets an honorable mention for sure.

Play Ugly, Win Anyway

Let us examine how Michigan won the first-ever meeting of two 4 seeds in the Final Four.

The Good

Michigan made 8 three-pointers to Syracuse’s 3, and that turned out to be a crucial element in beating the Orange’s vaunted 2-3 zone defense.  Spike Albrecht hit one from the concession stand in the first half.

The Bad

However, Michigan’s shooting percentage was actually worse than Syracuse’s, and though they had 9 more free throw attempts than Syracuse, they made only four more.  In fact, the free throw shooting for both teams was pretty horrific: 55% for Michigan and 64% for Syracuse.  At one point I thought for sure it was going to be deja vu all over again for Michigan.  Remember how they lost the Big Ten championship to Indiana because they couldn’t make free throws at the end of the game.

The Ugly

But the real reason Michigan was able to hold off Syracuse in this game was the fact that Syracuse fouled out BOTH of their starting guards, Triche and Carter-Williams.  With no one to handle the ball on their final possession, Syracuse was in real trouble.  Needing three to tie, Trevor Cooney (who?) decided to drive to the basket.  I guess he was hoping for a foul.  Instead he got a rejection, a turnover, and breakaway, in-your-face, exclamation point dunk by Michigan to seal the game.

Final Musings

Many years ago, the NCAA did away with the consolation game, where the losers of the semi-finals played each other for 3rd place.  I think Wichita State could beat Syracuse.  In fact, I think the Shockers could beat Michigan!  This is based on the way the two teams played tonight.  If I’m right, the championship game was played in the first game this evening, and Louisville should win easily Monday night.  If I’m wrong…well, maybe the Big Ten will have something to celebrate for the first time in over a decade.

Last Look At Aliases

I’d like to take a moment to give out some final awards for aliases that made me smile.

The Business Is Business, But This Is Personal Award

This award goes to the folks who used their alias to take a jab at someone else in the contest.

• Taylor “Beat Toby Risner!” Bradbury
• David “Ithinktobyshouldbringbackthegingermullet” Brush
• Wendy “Lonely up here without the Cooper boys” Cooper
• Gavin “Dad, ur the UofL grad, yet I pick’d em?!” Hand
• Sarah “Dad, re-picks or not, I’ve got u :P” Hand
• Kim “You’re Grounded!” Harper
• Natalie “You know you love me” Harper
• Chris “Blake Dieringer will never win this” Jones
• Caroline “Beating The Pants Off Anthony Randazzo” Modarressy-Tehrani
• Maria Joy “I’m Beating All 6 Bros. Randazzo” Randazzo
• Frank “Too many Randazzos in this pool” Riviera
• Mike “I’ve Never Lost to Jeff in Axis & Allies” White

The Flattery Will Get You Nowhere Award

This award goes to the contestants who used their alias to give a nod to me or to something I mentioned in the commentary.

• Mike “falling fast with a cheetah on my back” Desch
• Blake “G is for Gonzaga” Dieringer
• Jason “Rocket-Propelled Wrecking Ball” Roehl
• Chris “The Wizard of Pittsburgh” Wright
• Kim “Yellow Bellied Marmot” Livingston

The Magic Johnson Award For Most Cryptically Incomprehensible Alias

• Todd “Oskee Wow BAM!” Bergman
• Sean “Sven Torbenson” Evans
• Jack “ISLANDLAX13” Harper
• Dawn “OICURSB2?” Lamb
• Trevis “Absalom, Solomon: I hate you.” Litherland
• Bruce “Pampero Furpo” Schafer

The Security Breach Award

This award goes to those folks whose alias sure looks like it might be what they intended their password to be.  I didn’t try to login to their picks using their alias, mind you.  That would be cheating.

• Mike “mlbstl” Blankenberger
• Fred “fr3dd” Duncan
• Mark “MWE5398” Ehly
• David “d85jones” Jones
• Andy “arcb102000” McVeigh
• Raquel “Raq154” Turner

National Semi-Finals Awards

Now for the next to last set of awards for the 2013 contest.  I know, I know.  Very sad.

• The Tweet Of The Day award goes to Blake Dieringer who, regarding Louisville’s uniforms, quipped via Twitter, “Adidas struck out with those jerseys.  I wouldn’t even wear those to Wal-mart.”
• The How Many Years Have You Been In This Contest And You’re Still Confused About The Scoring System? award goes to Jonathan Hand, who had been emailing me all week absolutely convinced that the contest had only two possible winners even before the Final Four started and regardless of who won the National Championship.  This turned out not to be correct, because he was counting too many points for the winner of the Syracuse-Michigan game.  I have to it hand it to you, though, Jonathan, you put a lot of effort into those calculations.
• The Dynamic Duo award goes to eight amazing contestants who correctly predicted BOTH teams in the National Championship game with original picks.  These eight geniuses are: Toby Schneckloth, David Ricks, Sam Randazzo, Cassie Cox, Brian Gaffney, Anthony Randazzo, Rich Park, and Shane Svendpladsen.  Each will receive a vintage autographed picture of the original Batman and Robin.
• The One Hit Wonder award goes to John “JWW” Wilcox, who spent a brief but glorious moment in first place after Louisville’s win.  Michigan’s win subsequently dumped him back down to 16th, but hopefully John checked the standings between games to enjoy it.  John will receive a signed copy of Vanilla Ice’s 1990 smash hit, “Ice Ice Baby”.
• The Red Dawn award goes to David “Pick the mascot” Ricks whose pick of the Wolverines has brought him within one game of Jeff’s March Madness contest glory.  More on that in a moment.
• The Line Change award goes to the entire former top nine in the standings, all of whom dropped to 16th or lower after the Michigan win.  They were, in order, John Wilcox, Chelsea Goodwin, Jonathan Hand, Tyler Drone, Chad Freymiller, Monica Muschalik, Tammy Stewart, Jim Davis, and AJ Spuches.  These folks will each receive a hockey puck.
• The Out Of The Cellar award goes to Tasha Vessely who climbed from 283rd into the top 25 (24th, to be exact) on the strength of her Michigan pick.
• And finally, the Pardon Me, But Do You Have Any Grey Poupon? award goes to Colman “pass the mustard” Goodwin, our current contest leader.

So, in case you are wondering, there IS some drama left in our contest.

• 120 contestants picked Louisville to win the national championship, either with an original pick or a re-pick.  All 120 can move up in the final standings with a Louisville win.
• Only 15 contestants picked Michigan to win the national championship, either with an original pick or a re-pick.  A Michigan win would move fewer people up the standings, but the moves would be more dramatic, as ten of those contestants would be awarded the Ultimate Scategories Bonus of 96 points!  Yes, the Michigan homers have a chance to ride their team all the way to a complete sweep of the contest’s top ten.  Not fair?  You should have picked Michigan!
• Ultimately, just as the national championship has come down to two possible winners, so has our contest.  A Michigan win will secure victory for our current contest leader, Colman Goodwin.  On the other hand, a Louisville victory will give enough points to David Ricks for him to pass Colman and win the contest.  There you have it.  Root accordingly.

Now we shall take a slightly-less-than-48-hour break, after which time I shall issue the final installment of the 18th annual Jeff’s March Madness Commentary and Awards.  Until then, sweet dreams!

The Wizard of Whiteland

Contest Home Page

Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. – Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

Gators Get Chomped

Florida had been sailing through the South region somewhat on cruise control, dispatching lower-seeded opponents without much difficulty.  Today they ran into a buzz saw called Michigan.  By the time I got around to watching this game, it was already pretty much out of reach.  Who would have predicted that Michigan would be the Big Ten’s representative in the Final Four?  Apparently, about 135 of our contestants, that’s who.

A Decisive Win, A Fallen Teammate

My wife and I were blessed with tickets to attend today’s epic match-up between Louisville and Duke.  The first half was indicative of the titanic struggle we expected it to be.  With about six and a half minutes left in the first half, we were watching Louisville bring the ball back up the court after a defensive stop when suddenly and bizarrely, play just stopped, and the Louisville players collapsed to the floor as if simultaneously stricken by some sort of debilitating plague.  It was truly the strangest and most surreal thing I’ve ever seen in a basketball game.  We had no idea what had happened.  As our eyes scanned the floor for clues, we saw Louisville’s Kevin Ware lying in obvious agony on the floor right in front of the Louisville bench, a teammate huddled right over his face and tapping him fervently on the chest.  The training staff were also huddled around him so that we couldn’t really see what was going on.  Confusion rapidly swept through the crowd as an eerie hush fell in the building.  What happened?  Why were ALL the Louisville players on their knees or backs on the floor?  Where’s the replay?  That’s when 21st Century savvy kicked in, and everyone whipped out their smart phones.  Within a minute or two Twitter, Facebook, and ESPN.COM were abuzz with the story, and nearby fans were passing around their phones showing the video to one another.  I refused to watch.  The description was enough for me.  Comparisons to Joe Theisman were common.  As they carried Ware off on a stretcher, fans, coaches, and players in every color jersey rose to their feet and applauded.  It was truly moving.

And then there was a basketball game to finish, although I’m not sure how anyone could be expected to do so after such a horrific event.  As far as the game goes, my wife and I both observed that Duke’s shooting that seemed so sharp on Friday betrayed them completely tonight, even at the free throw line.  In a one-and-done format such as March Madness, a bad shooting night simply cannot be afforded, especially in a regional final.  As the second half wore on, the game got of Duke’s reach.  Louisville looked sharp in every way, even without Ware.  I cannot imagine how Wichita State will be any match for them.

No Chance For Duke

As an aside, Duke had two unchangeable principles working against them tonight.  The first is the Iron Law of March Madness, i.e., no team has ever lost the opening game of its conference tournament and gone on to win a national championship.  Second, this was Resurrection Sunday, and we all know the devil was defeated on Resurrection Sunday.

Round 4 Awards

Perhaps more so than any contest in recent memory, this one has really enjoyed frequent changes in the standings.  Since the completion of the first day of games, we have had eight different contest leaders.  I don’t keep records of such things; so, I do not know if that is any kind of record.  It certainly does keep things interesting for the contest manager, though!

Before we get into the awards, there are a few items of interest to point out with regards to the contest scoring.

• There are no more upset bonuses available in the contest.  The seedings only make sense in the contest of the four regions, and those now each have a champion.
• There are, however, still Scategories bonuses available.  Remember, a Scategories bonus can only be earned with an original pick, not a re-pick.
• Interestingly, no matter who wins the Michigan-Syracuse match-up, some contestants will earn a Scategories bonus for that game to the tune of 48 total points!
• There are no more Scategories bonuses available for Wichita State, because no one picked them to win a national semi-final or national championship with original picks.  Similarly, there are no Scategories bonuses to be earned by Louisville wins, as Louisville was a very popular pick.

And now the awards…

• The Close But No Cigar award goes to Doug Goodwin, the only person to pick 3 of the Final Four correctly with original picks.  Not a soul in the contest picked all four Final Four teams correctly even with the benefit of re-picks.
• The There’s More Than Corn In Indiana award goes to four contestants who were a perfect 15-0 in the Midwest region: Darren Renier, Dotty Charlson, Ben Adams, and Matt Cohee.  Winners will receive a fresh bushel of Indiana’s best.
• The Wild, Wild West award goes to four contestants who picked 10 out of 15 games correctly in the West region with original picks.  Believe it or not, this was the best anyone did in that region.  Congratulations to Monica Muschalik, Chelsea Goodwin, Anna Deaver, and Ethan Ables.  Winners of this award will receive a free iTunes download of Will Smith’s hit single of the same name.
• The Southern Hospitality award goes to five contestants who were 13-2 with their original picks in the South region: Jeffrey Beard, Sam Randazzo, Philip Randazzo, Chris (dad) Randazzo, and Marc Ramirez.  Winners will receive free tickets to a taping of Paula Deen’s Food Network show.
• The Beast of the East award goes to John Wilcox, the only contestant to go 14-1 with his original picks in the East region.  John will receive a commemorative tombstone engraved with all the teams that currently make-up the now defunct Big East.  May it rest in pieces.
• The Upset Stomach award sponsored by Prilosec OTC goes to 54th place contestant Paul Sopke who collected 77 upset bonus points, more than anyone else.
• The Playing It Safe award goes to 498th place contestant Chloe Zittle, the highest scoring contestant who did not pick a single upset correctly.
• The Foreigh Affairs award goes to Monica “Hong Kong Hiker” Muschalik, currently in 2nd place.  She is also currently lying on a beach in the Philippines.  Must be rough.
• The Would You Like Pickles And Onions With That award goes to Coleman “pass the mustard” Goodwin, currently in 6th place.
• The SEO award goes to Chris “1dayroofing.com” Johnson, currently in 96th, whom I ran into at the restaurant this afternoon.  He was trying to convince me to move him up in the standings so that the shameless self-promotion of his roofing business would get more exposure.
• The Very Punny award goes to 11th place contestant Jonathan “Is holding the Cards tightly in” Hand.  You and about 300 others, bro.
• And finally, the Green Jacket award for contest mastery so far goes to continued front runner, the 9-year-old phenom Tyler Drone.  Can Tyler hold on through the final three games to win the contest?  Tune in next weekend to find out.

I sincerely hope that you have been enjoying the contest so far, especially all you contest newcomers.  Time for us to take a five-day break from the Madness as we await the Final Four.  This should be enough time for you analytical types to crunch all the numbers and figure out who the possible contest winners are based on the remaining scenarios (you know who you are).  As far as I’m concerned, I have to get back to mundane things like work.

Stepping back behind the curtain,

The Wizard of Whiteland

Contest Home Page