So I’m here in Starbucks enjoying my second cup of $4 coffee, thinking about all the basketball I’ve seen over the past four days, and looking over the contest results to decide who is worthy of recognition…or derision, whatever the case may be.  One thing I’ve decided for sure is that the music they play in the local 24-hour Starbucks has to be themost annoying I’ve ever heard.  Speaking of annoying, it has to be time for my yearly rant about the coverage of the Can’t Broadcast Sports network.  Let me start by saying that there are some CBS employees that I truly enjoy, among them Clark Kellogg, Gus Johnson, Len Elmore, Bill Raftery, and Ian Eagle, just because his name is so stinking cool.  However, as a broadcasting company, they seem to be putting together a poorer product on a yearly basis.  I don’t know how it is where you sit, but so far I have endured random switching back and forth between HD and Standard Definition (SD) programming, inexplicable cutovers to blow-out games of non-regional interest, and endless commercial interruptions.  Besides all that, I continue to have to endure the mindless banter of Seth Davis, and the inconscionable choice of Jim Nantz and Billy Packeras the “first-team” of announcers.  At least we don’t have to listen to Packer ramble on about Duke this year.

Day Four Observations

• Defense Wins Championships? – We waited four days for an upset of real consequence and finally got it with UNLV’s toppling of Wisconsin.  Most of us believed that the most undeserving 2 seed was Memphis, but I must say that Memphis looked sharp while Wisconsin looked dead.  Defense may win championships, but scoring points is pretty much non-negotiable, and Wisconsin was demonstrating a noticeable inability to put points on the board.
• Repeat? – The Florida Gators are the second top seed of the weekend to look extremely vulnerable, needing every club in the bag to put away pesky Purduein a game 14 contestants were praying Purdue would win.  Let’s face it.  Purdue should be no match for a top seed, which makes Florida’s chances to be the first team to repeat since Duke dubious at best.
• Turned Into A Pumpkin – So much for Cinderella.  The last remaining double-digit seed, Winthrop, was dispatched by Oregon in a game that was never as close as the final score.  It has been at least 13 years, and maybe longer, since we had a Sweet 16 without any teams seeded 10 or higher.
• There’s Always The Celtics – Perhaps Texas’ Kevin Durantwas too busy counting his forthcoming NBA cash to care about showing up for tonight’s matchup with USC.  The Longhorns were blown out of the gym…by USC…in basketball.  What’s the world coming to?
• Mid Majors Make The Grade – Perhaps the reason we don’t see double-digit seeds in the Sweet 16 this year is because the committee finally rewarded top-tier Mid-Major programs with excellent seeds this year.  Thus, perennial Cinderellas Butler and Southern Illinois make their appearances in the Sweet 16 as expected, rather than “by surprise”.  Southern Illinois was my one “risky” Final Four pick, and while Kansas will be a tremendous challenge, I still think they can do it.  Anybody else have any doubt that Butler can handle Florida?  Just because they have a 5 beside their name this year doesn’t mean that a Final Four appearance by the Butler Bulldogs wouldn’t be a Cinderella moment.
• By The Numbers– This year’s seed performance is downright historic.  As I’ve already mentioned, not one double-digit seed made the Sweet 16, but it goes even further than that.  No 10, 12, 13, or 14 won a single game.  As far as I can tell, that has neverhappened before.  This year’s Sweet 16 consists of all four 1 seeds, three 2 seeds, three 3 seeds, one 4 seed, three 5 seeds, a 6 and a 7.  Historically, the 5’s never do this well, and the 4’s rarely do this poorly.  When it comes to your re-picks, remember two important Iron Laws of March Madness:
  • No 7 seed has ever made the Final Four.
  • It has never happened that all four 1 seeds have made the Final Four.

Enough pontificating.  It’s time for the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the round two awards.

Round Two Awards

• The Sky Is Falling award, sponsored by Chicken Little, goes to John Lederman, who fell from 23rd to 190th since the end of round one.  This is, without doubt, divine retribution for John calling me on the phone on Tuesday and giving me a hard time.
• The Big Rebound award, sponsored by Dennis Rodman, goes to Amy Keener, who bounced back from 210th to 24th.  For your prize, Amy, you’ll receive one free dye job, body piercing, or tattoo of your choice.
• The 12-Step Program award goes to Mason Gallmeyer, who stopped me at church this morning and asked, “Why am I so addicted to this thing?  There’s not even a prize, and I can’t say off the website.”  If you, like Mason, suffer from JMMCA (Jeff’s March Madness Contest Addiction), call 1-800-NO-MO-MAD to talk to a trained counselor.  We at Jeff’s March Madness Contest, Inc., want you to enjoy the contest, but please, play responsibly.
• The Most Ridiculous Item Of The Day award, sponsored by Bill O’Reily, goes to Angie Davis, who is in 28th place but confessed that she got the scoop on whom to pick from a high school student in the class for which she was substituting last week.  Angie also gets the Trash Talking award for telling the Contest Manager he was, quote, “Ate Up” for creating the contest in the first place. 
• The It Could Happen, But Not To You award goes to Richard Schrimpf, last year’s contest champion, who now resides in 86th.  This goes to show that repeating as contest champion is just as hard as repeating as NCAA champion.
• The You Must Be Blond Award Of Utter Confusion goes to Tom Gidley, whose alias garnered a chuckle from teh contest manager: “The Colts Will Win This Tournament, Too!”
• The You’ve Hit The Sophomore Wall award goes to last year’s Rookie of the Year award winner, Janae Dailey, who is 195th.
• The Careful What You Wish For award goes to Janae’s husband, Justin Dailey, whose alias reveals that he might have preferred her picks.  Maybe not.  Justin is in 37th.
• The I Love This Awesome Scoring System award goes to Kyle Gratz, who thanks to 20 bonus points finds himself 10 points and 22 places ahead of the next contestant with the same number of base points that he has (51), Amy Keener.
• The I Hate This Stupid Scoring System award goes to Jimbo Hillman, who despite having a respectable 50 base points, which is only 5 less than the highest in the contest of 55, has only 1 bonus point for a total score of 51 and 115th place.
• The Unbelievable Picking Prowess award goes to those contestants who managed to pick all 12 games in any region correctly.  The region-by-region winners are:
  • East: Jody Albright
  • West: Austin Stickney and Mark Humphrey
  • Midwest: None
  • (The Incredibly Easy) South: Alan Theile, Alex Boswell, Angie Davis, Brooke Johnson, Caleb Davis, Derrick Graves, Eric Braga, Jonathan Barndt, Kristin Schafer, Kyle Gratz, Matt Cope, Neil Harrison, Patty Darnall, and Tina Pickhardt
• The You Don’t Know Diddly award goes to Dave “Knows Picks” Barndt.  Position: 285th.
• The Most Hilarious Alias award goes to Toby “Ahmagwana put ROUNDUP on your booty” Risner.  ROTFL.  As a corollary, the Most Intense Rivalry award goes to all the “Weed Killers” in the contest and their frightening obsession with beating Brad Schafer, aka, Ahmagwana Kickbooty.
• And finally, the I Finally Won The Stupid Tiebreaker And Got First Place award goes to Kathy Thomas, a yearly contestant whose time may have come to prevail.  Kathy has spent the majority of the weekend tied for first in points but losing out due to the first tiebreaker, winning percentage.  She’s still tied for first in terms of points, but came out on top by virtue of the tiebreaker.  A woman has never won our contest (though one has come in second).  Is this the year it happens?

So that’s it.  I am now officially blogged out.  It’s time for the Contest to respond with some comments while I take a break.  Maybe you’ve been reading the blog but haven’t subscribed to comment.  Now is your chance.  Also, don’t forget to do your REPICKS before Thursday at 6:00 PM.  Instructions have been emailed to all contestants, and can be found here.

Living The Madness