I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face it, friends make life a lot more fun. – Chuck Swindoll
Waxing A Few Elephants
Normally I stick to wit and analysis in these writings, but hopefully you will allow me a moment of sentiment as we embark on this year’s journey into madness.
This contest is older than all of my children, and though I have done it for many years, somehow I get a sense of new beginning this year. The power of social media outlets such as Facebook and Twitter have added a renewed popularity to our humble competition. We have more entries this year, by far, than any year previous, including no shortage of first-timers. I extend a hearty welcome to all of you – veterans grizzled and jaded, and rookies wide-eyed and hopeful.
As I examined this year’s list of entries, I smiled broadly at the many names and even familiar aliases that I recognized. Many of you I have never met in person, and yet I said to myself, “I know him. I know her. I have known them for years.” Maybe that is what makes our contest so special. Once a year a small army of friends and strangers gather around a campfire called basketball for three weeks. They cheer for their favorite team. They toss their brackets in the trash in frustration. Then they open up their email hoping for a laugh and a coveted award. Their aliases serve as a billboard, scoreboard, sounding board, and mood ring all at once. And when it’s all over, they congratulate the winners, give a good-natured poke at their friends who won the booby prizes, and then a surprising number of send me a heart-felt email of sincere thanks. “I really hope you do this again next year.” Why? It is not because basketball matters at all in the grand scheme of things, or that my little quips or nutty awards have any inherent value, or even that I’m a good writer or sports analyst. It is because, as Chuck Swindoll pointed out, life has the most joy when we do it together. Hopefully, it will be even more fun this year with the addition of the Facebook page where you can add your own quips, wit, and banter.
So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for making every contest every year so special. You are the reason I do it, year in and year out. I appreciate you all.
March Madness From A to Z
From year to year I try to introduce something new in an attempt to keep things fresh and not become too predictable. This year, rather than starting off with the usual list of stats, factoids, or iron laws, I give you March Madness from A to Z.
A is for Agonizing, which is what many of you have been doing over your picks for the past three days.
B is for the Butler Bulldogs, Bucknell Bison, and Belmont Bruins, a veritable smorgasbord of alliterative basketball madness!
C is for the Catholic Seven – Marquette, Georgetown, Villanova, DePaul, Providence, St. John’s, and Seton Hall – that will form the core of what will be the new Big East next season.
D is for Diaper Dandies, Dick Vitales euphemism for outstanding freshmen players.
E is for Excluded, the fate of last year’s national champion Kentucky Wildcats. In a bizarre twist of fate, UK had to go on the road in the NIT to play Robert Morris because Lexington is an NCAA first round site. Let that sink in. The defending national champion couldn’t play in its own building because they didn’t get an invitation to the big dance. (They lost, by the way.)
F is for Florida Gulf Coast, the best Fifteen seed you’ve never heard of. Last year not one but two fifteen seeds won in the first round, so don’t expect too much from them this year. The law of averages most certainly will catch up with them.
G is for Gonzaga, strangely the most underachieving set of overachievers in the last decade of March Madness. An enigma, the Zags are too good to be an underdog and yet too disrespected to be a favorite. Who can forget Adam Morrison weeping at half court after succumbing to a 30+ point comeback by UCLA in 2006.
H is for Havoc, the moniker applied to VCU’s frenetic style of defense. No one wants to play VCU. I promise.
I is for Investigations which brought down once-mighty UConn and now seem destined to topple Syracuse from its lofty perch. Denial is more than a river in Egypt.
J is for the Jackrabbits of South Dakota State, once again the team sporting the most ridiculous mascot in the entire field. A quick Google search reveals that South Dakota’s state animal is the coyote, and it is also home to buffalo, deer, prairie dogs, and yellow bellied marmots. What you don’t know is that the board of directors was set on going with the South Dakota State Yellow Bellied Marmots, but when the printer notified them that they couldn’t fit that on the uniforms, they settled for Jackrabbits instead.
K is for coach Krzyzewski, the Bill Belichick of college basketball. Ever notice how wildly successful coaches always seem to have Polish names?
L is for Liberty University who made the tournament field of 68, albeit as a member of the dubious “First Four”, with 20 losses by virtue of winning their conference tournament.
M is for Marsupials, just because it is fun to say, and we actually have one in the field of 64 (the aforementioned Zips of Akron).
N is for Network, which starting giving my Internet Service Provider fits around 10:00 AM EDT this morning. I was having nightmarish flashbacks to last year when the web site’s database server crashed two hours before the entry deadline and stayed down for half a day.
O is for Olynyk, Kelly Olynyk, the best big man in college basketball you’ve never heard of.
P is for Pacific, the worst fifteen seed you’ve never heard of.
Q is for Quality wins, the metric some like ESPN’s Jay Blias believe was not given enough weight when selecting the field of 68 teams.
R is for Replay curiously being incorporated into NCAA basketball, but only under certain situations. It seems to be used more for determining if a guy ought to get a flagrant foul than anything else. I mean, this is just me, but I would think it might be better suited for, oh, I don’t know, confirming who last touched the ball before it went out of bounds.
S is for Social Media, a key factor in this year’s contest popularity. I must admit I have been doubter as to the real marketing power of Facebook and Twitter, but after seeing our contest entries increase by 25% or more over last year, I’m a beliver.
T is for Turnovers, a key to success for would-be Cinderellas.
U is for Ugly, the only fitting description of the new uniforms worn by the Cincinnati Bearcats.
V is for Victor Oladipo, the player whose name CBS’s Jim Nantz seems to have trouble pronouncing.
W is for Winning, which isn’t everything. It’s the only thing. (Vince Lombardi)
X is for former Kentucky player ReX Chapman who, in a rather bizarre twist, showed up on TruTV as an analyst. Really? That seems rather desperate to me.
Y is for Yard Yeti, the annual alias of contestant Ethan McGivern. Hey, it’s really hard to come up with a “Y” in this list, and Ethan gave me two!
Z is for the Akron Zips, the team with the strangest name and yet the coolest mascot (a kangaroo). Don’t scoff. One kick from a kangaroo can kill.
Contest Vital Statistics
I know you all are dying for the awards for best alias, but with so many entries this year, I need more time to wrap that up. Look for the alias awards later this afternoon or this evening. In the meantime, I offer a few quasi-random by-the-numbers facts about this year’s contest.
- 662 – Total number of entries in this year’s contest, the most ever by far.
- 161 – Number of contest rookies, or at least that’s how many designated themselves as such.
- 4 – Age of contestant Javen Wynn, whose birthday is today.
- 5 – Number of consecutive years a 13 seed has won at least one game in the tournament. Who will it be this year?
- 0 – Number of times a 16 seed has won a game. Will this be the first year?
- 394 – Number of contestants who made at least one pick eligible for a coveted Scategories bonus.
Quick Awards
Just a couple of quick awards to whet your appetite.
- The It Must Be A Paul Thing award goes to Paul Smith and Paul Sopke who both took the anti-weenie route and picked the lower seed to win all 32 first round games. Guys, this never works.
- The Lack of Originality award goes to the eight contestants who picked not one upset in the first round: Sam Hadley, Steve Blevins, Rylee Gallmeyer, Rebekah Badgley, Thomas Vessely, Clay Rexroad, Lexi Fair, and Steve Glassley. Folks, this never works, either.
- The Biggest Losers award goes to sports analyst icons Mike Greenburg, Mike Golic, and Jim Rome. I tweeted all of these guys – twice – daring them to enter our contest. No response. Don’t know why. Their loss.
- The Right Hand Man award goes to my good friend Brad Schafer who kept me calm while the site was unavailable for about 30 minutes this morning. He also keeps me feeding me commentary fodder.
- The DiVinci award goes to Robb Boswell who provided me with a better cover graphic for the Facebook page. Thanks, Boz!
- The Mass Marketing Genius award goes to my wife, Heather Little, who suggested I create the Facebook page and went out of her way to promote it like crazy. It worked. Thanks, babe!
Ok, now it’s time to put all the aliases before the awards committee and get some final decisions. It’s also time to watch some basketball and also do some mundane things like WORK. Be sure to “Like” the Facebook page.
Madly Yours,
The Wizard of Whiteland