“I love sports. When I’m not playing, I’m watching, reading, or otherwise obsessing about them. This probably stems from growing up in Indiana, where if you didn’t at least attempt to play basketball, you were considered of dubious moral character.”

Mark Waters

A day that began with no upsets ended with the second biggest upset of the tournament. Ohio, not THE Ohio State, University advances to the round of 32 by beating the quasi-defending champs. And Gonzaga routes Norfolk State by nearly 50 points.

How The Mighty Have Fallen

The first session of this Saturday was all chalk, but the evening session saw three more double-digit seeds advance to the round of 32. The 13 seed Ohio Bobcats defeated the last team to win an NCAA tournament, the 2019 champion Virginia Cavaliers, or, if you prefer, the Wahoos, whatever that is. As I pointed out earlier, Virginia was forced to drop out of the ACC tournament due to COVID-19 issues, and the entire team had been in hard quarantine for the ten days leading up to today’s game. Ten days is a long time to not practice or workout, and ultimately I think this contributed to the loss. Number 11 seed UCLA beat up on BYU both literally and figuratively, led by Johnny Juzang’s 27 points.

But by far the most stunning upset of the evening was 14 seeded Abilene Christian’s one-point victory over Texas in what could be the ugliest game I’ve seen in quite a while. For perspective, Texas averaged 75 points a game this season. Tonight they could only manage 52 points while surrendering a whopping 23 turnovers against what is statistically the best defense in Division I. The Longhorns appeared to have survived when Andrew Jones made the go-ahead three pointer with just 16 seconds left. I thought the victory was sealed for sure when Texas’ Kai Jones blocked Damien Daniels’ desperation circus layup, but then the ball fell right into the not-really-waiting hands of Joe Pleasant, who was promptly fouled by Matt Coleman…sort of. Anyway, Mr. Pleasant’s free throw shooting is anything but; nevertheless, this 59% free throw shooter calmly sank both shots, Texas’ NCAA tournament run, and 99 contestants’ brackets who had them in the Final Four.

In all, nine double-digit seeds advanced to the round of 32 this year, one shy of the record ten that advanced in 2016. A double-digit seed has never won an NCAA tournament. In fact, no seed higher than 11 has ever made it to the Final Four, though, incredibly, four different 11 seeds have done so: LSU in 1986 (think Shaq), George Mason in 2006, VCU in 2011 (significant because they had to win a First Four game just to get in the field of 64), and Loyola-Chicago in 2018, when we first met Sister Jean.

Power Conferences Power On

The news wasn’t all bad for traditional powerhouses, though. Overall number one seed Gonzaga crushed Norfolk State in a cringe worthy, one-sided affair. The much maligned Big Ten is doing quite well, actually, with a 6-2 record. (Before you correct me, I don’t count First Four games in my contest stats. Yes, I know Sparty lost, and the TV crews are all saying 6-3.) The Big 12 is 6-1 while the Pac 12 is a surprising perfect 5-0. Things aren’t going so well for the ACC, though, with a combined tournament record of 2-5.

Round of 64 Awards

Without further ado, here are the round of 64 awards, formerly known as the first round awards, but now we have to call them something else because of the First Four technically being the first round…or something. The alias awards won’t be given out tonight. I know that’s disappointing, but remember that I have well over 500 aliases to sift through, so please bear with me.

• The Funniest Thing I Heard Today award goes to my 15-year-old son, Graham Little, who after the stunning Texas defeat quipped, “Two of my Final Four are gone, so, Roll Tide.”
• The Top Prognosticator award goes to the minions who picked the most games correctly out of the 32 that have been played this round. That number is 26, and the award winners are Daniel Burko and the pseudonymous Marcus Unrealius. No way that’s his real name, which means he also qualifies for the Rule Breaker award, but, were I to actually award that, the list would be so long I’d get carpal tunnel just typing it out.
• The Upset Stomach award, sponsored by Prilosec OTC, goes to the contestant who picked the most upsets correctly. The round one winner is Steven Diller, who guaranteed himself this award by going with the all-upsets picking strategy, an approach that has often been employed but has yet to produce a winner in the contest.
• The Shoot For The Stars award, sponsored by SpaceX, goes to Johnathan Reynolds, who climbed from 691st to 94th by the end of round one.
• The Your Stock Is Falling award goes to Maureen Proffitt who dropped out of her spot in the top 25 (23rd) to 152nd. The irony of Ms. Proffitt’s contest stock dropping is not lost on me.
• The Biggest Loser award goes to Chris Grunden who dropped nearly 350 spots from 186th to 504th. Chris will receive a free training session from Jillian Michaels.
• The I Rose In The Standings, And It Almost Cost Me My Commentary Shout Out award goes to 639th place minion Lilly Richardson, who I noticed in last place earlier in the day and had already determined to present her with an award, but then she moved up. Nice guy that I am, I invented a new award for her. You’re welcome.
• The Oh Yeah? Well I’m REALLY In Last Place award goes to Stacey Dean. It didn’t seem right to not give this award to the rightful winner.
• The Fantastic Four award goes to 4th place minion Vanessa Sopke, who picked eight of the ten upsets correctly without resorting to the mass-upsets strategy. Vanessa is well positioned for a run at first place going forward.
• The This Is Even Worse Than Your Usual Bad Strategy award goes to Matthew Hickey. A bit of explanation is in order here. Matthew typically takes the all-upsets approach, but this year he decided to throw in Purdue, which earned him the dubious honor of having picked the FEWEST games correctly among all contestants (the number is nine). Ironically, had he stuck with his usual MO, he would have ten correct picks.
• The You Gotta Be Kidding Me award goes to the 62 contestants who picked Abilene Christian to beat Texas. I won’t list all their names here, but I can hardly believe so many people made this pick.
• Finally, the Leader Of The Pack award goes to current contest leader Steven Diller. Though his bracket is a sea of red, his all-upsets strategy is good enough for the early lead. Steven will receive a vintage vinyl copy of the original LP from the Shangri-Las.

With that, it is time to recharge my batteries and prepare for the round of 32. I hope you are enjoying yourselves so far, and if not, remember the re-pick round is just two days away.