” Porridge. Who does she think I am, Goldilocks? Anteaters only eat ants. And that’s an ant.” – The Aardvark from The Ant and the Aardvark
Fear The Anteaters!
Greetings, fair minions! I am happy to report that I am home, unpacked, and back in the saddle for a full weekend of March Madness. The nice thing about coming back from a golf vacation is still being on vacation and, thus, having time to watch basketball all day. In case you missed it due to mundane responsibilities like work, here are a few highlights from today’s afternoon session.
- What’s a guy gotta do to get an ant? Anyone remember the cartoon from the early 70’s called The Ant and the Aardvark? It aired as part of The Pink Panther, which was my favorite Saturday morning cartoon when I was a young wizard. Remember when you used to get up at the crack of dawn on Saturdays just to watch cartoons? Sweet memories. Now I get up before sunrise on Saturdays to spend 24 straight hours at a show choir competition, but I digress. Anyway, the big story of the day so far is UC Irvine’s first ever tournament victory, a 13-over-4 upset of Kansas State. The Anteaters have a winning streak dating back to January, and one would think that a Sweet Sixteen appearance would be a real boon to the contestants who picked them. Weirdly, however, another win by UC Irvine would be worth only a single upset bonus point thanks to today’s other big upset…
- The Big 10 finally loses a game. After going 6-0 in early tournament action, the Big 10 suffered its first loss when the Wisconsin Badgers lost in the quintessential 12-5 trap game to trendy tournament Cinderella Oregon. Personally, I detest watching Wisky games. Their style of play sets basketball back 50 years. The Ducks will now face the aforementioned anteaters, guaranteeing a double-digit seed makes the Sweet Sixteen this year.
- Cincinnati’s woes continue. I forget the exact stat, but I heard it mentioned in the live game call. The Cincinnati Bearcats have failed to make the Sweet Sixteen for several years in a row now, and this year will not break the trend. In another upset, the Iowa Hawkeyes provided three more upset bonus points to the sharp minions who picked them.
- Virginia says “never again”. In the worst possible case of deja vu, the Virginia Cavaliers were down six at the half to 16-seed Gardner-Webb. You may recall that the Cavaliers have the dubious honor of becoming the only 1-seed ever to lose to a 16 last year. Fortunately, they woke up in the second half and beat the pants off of the school that sounds more like a personal injury lawyer. Seriously, the poor fellows walked off the court sans pants. Very embarrassing.
- First four no more. Since its inception in 2011, the First Four has provided four “play-in” games where eight teams compete for four spots in the field of 64 – two 16 seeds and two 11 seeds. Every single year for eight years, one of the 11 seeds has won at least one game in the actual tournament. That streak comes to an end this year with both Belmont and Arizona State failing to advance past the first round.
- Double duty. If you watched any of the games on CBS, you may have heard from NCAA rules analyst Gene Steratore. NFL fans may be surprised or confused, because Steratore was a well-known NFL referee for many years. Indeed, Steratore worked as both an NFL referee and an NCAA basketball official.
- It’s good to be king. So far teams seeded 1-3 are undefeated. That isn’t all that unusual. Only once has a 16 seed won a game. 15 seeds have only 8 wins in tournament history, and 14 seeds have just 21 wins. Perhaps Georgia State can get the job done against Houston this evening.
Quick Awards
This being the midday update, I only have time for a few awards. Look for more this evening in the round one wrap up.
- The Don’t Blink, You’ll Miss It award goes to Adam Detamore and Vanessa Sopke for the fleeting moments they spent in first place in the contest. It was fun while it lasted.
- The You’ve Got Mail award goes to perennial contestant Bill Spyksma, aka Wazzu Spike, who has been emailing me all day, mostly in reference to the fact that he now sits atop the standings. He fears it may be short-lived. It usually is.
- Not to be outdone, the Helping Hand award, sponsored by Hamburger Helper, goes to Jonathan Hand, who also sits atop the standings at the moment in a tie with Bill.
- The Blame Game award goes to Tony Isch for his amusing tweets blaming ESPN’s Jay Bilas for his lousy bracket performance. That’s what you get for trusting the experts, Tony.
- The Flattery Will Get You Nowhere, But It Will Get You A Shout Out award goes to Dave Barndt, who messaged me on Facebook to express his feeling of honor and privilege to be tied with The Wizard of Whiteland in the standings. Here’s hoping it doesn’t stay that way, Dave.
Time to turn our attention back to the evening session. There is plenty more to come late tonight in the final round one commentary. Until then…
The Wizard of Whiteland