“Hey there, Mister Madman, what you know that I don’t know? Tell me some crazy stories; let me know who runs this show…It’s always here. It’s always there. It’s just love and miracles out of nowhere.”
– Kansas
The Final Four Is Complete
One exciting game and one not so much completes the 2018 Final Four. With all the crazy upsets we experienced this year, the Final Four ended up 75% sanity and 25% madness. Under the category of “a picture is worth 1000 words,” the following sums it quite nicely.
- Nova Rolls Tech – I don’t have much to say about the first game of the day except that Villanova still looks like the team to beat. Many weapons. Terrific coaching. Yes, Kansas will be a tough test, but, well, it’s Kansas. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
- There’s No Place Like Home – They definitely saved the best of the regional final games for last as the Duke Blue Devils and Kansas Jayhawks went to overtime in a back-and-forth affair. After The Bazooka fouled out for Kansas with 2:00 to go, it looked as though Duke might pull out the win. Those hopes faded for Duke fans as Grayson Allen’s last-second game-winning shot attempt bounced three times on the rim and fell off to the side. March Madness is a game of inches. With The Bazooka out and Sviatoslav Mykhailiuk with four fouls, the crew watching the game at my house was thinking, “advantage Duke.” Instead, Kansas’ Malik Newman channeled his inner Michael Jordan and scored all 13 of the Jayhawk points in overtime to win the game. I am reasonably confident that between The Bazooka and Mykhailiuk, all letters of the alphabet are present and accounted for in their names.
- One One Will Be Done – One might say that this year’s bracket is rather conservative; it leans considerably to the right. Rim shot. I’ll be here all week. One could also argue that the national championship will actually be determined on Saturday when the two remaining #1 seeds, Kansas and Villanova, square off in what ought to be a battle royale. No doubt the rest of the country outside of Ann Arbor, Lawrence, and Villanova (yes, Villanova is actually a place in Pennsylvania and not just the name of the University) will be rooting for Sister Jean and the Rambling Hobo-Wolves of Loyola-Chicago. Everyone loves an underdog, after all. I have my doubts that Loyola can even keep the game with Michigan close, let alone win, but in a year of firsts, we should not be surprised if we see the first double-digit seed play for a national title.
And now on to the part you all skip to in the email anyway (I’m talking to YOU, Patrick Booher), the 2018 regional awards.
Awards
- No one got all four of the Final Four correct with original picks this year. Shocker. However, I will give the Participation Trophy to those contestants who managed to get all four correct with the benefit of the re-picks: Ellen Althaus, Tuck Badgley, Andrew Bolin, Emma Adams, Ava Dailey, and Bob Johnson.
- The Southern Hospitality award goes to the two contestants who had the most success in the brutal South region, Rena Fairchild and Paula Novak. They each picked 11 of the 15 games correctly.
- The Best Western award goes to the contestants who dominated the West region with 13 wins each (with original picks): Lynsey Oberstadt, Julie Bowen, Steven Pettit, and Tyson Glassley. Each winner will receive one night’s stay in their local Best Western.
- The Beasts Of The East award goes to the minions who were nearly perfect in the East region, winning 14 out of 15 with original picks: Luke Furr, Patricia Carson, Matt Cox, Nathan Kimbrell, Andrew Barndt, Ryan Lamb, Rob Puglisi, and Carol Taylor.
- The Omaha! award goes to the top performer in the Midwest region, Andre Echevarria, winner of 14 games with original picks. Andre will receive a signed picture of Peyton Manning.
- The Emperor Palpatine award goes to 38th place minion Raj Shankar for changing his alias to the most excellent Star Wars allusion, “I Am The Senate!“
- The Best Response To A Busted Bracket award goes to Heather Little, who after losing her last team in the tournament, Duke, set her alias to this gem: “My Bracket Is DUKiE.“
- The Best March Madness Pun With A Marvel Universe Reference award goes to 105th place contestant Jay “Mo ‘Thor’ Wagner-rok bringing the hammer” Namboothiri. What you all don’t know is that Namboothiri was actually the great great grandfather of Odin and original king of Asgard. No, actually, I’m just making that up. Namboothiri is really the planet where the final showdown between Kylo Ren and Rey will take place in the next Star Wars movie. You heard it here first.
- The Cinderella Story award goes to Elliott Murray who continues his climb from the obscurity of 740th to the top of the leader board. Elliott is currently in 18th and can still move up.
- The Ask And You Will Receive award goes to Patrick “Coach” Booher, currently in 57th place, just because he asked for it.
- The Honor Your Father And Mother award goes to Sydney “My Parents Made Me” Snyder, currently in 156th. What wise parents you have, Sydney.
- The Oh Ye Of Little Faith award goes to Jordan “These prayers aren’t working” Risner, currently in 57th.
- And finally, the It Was Fun While It Lasted award goes to Paula Novak who held on to first place for the entire second weekend of the tournament, but, alas, will not finish there. All of Paula’s remaining teams are now out.
With that, fine minions, it is time for me to return to the real world sans basketball for a week or so. The contest standings are close, and with a couple of huge scategories bonuses on the table should Loyola manage to win another game or two, there are still a number of contestants who could end up number one. Stay tuned!
The Wizard of Whiteland