The Last Word

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The Butler Gets Conned

That sound you hear is the collective sigh being exhaled from Butler nation. Put simply, they had a bad shooting night. It happens. As a home team fan, I could talk about a few non-calls and how UConn’s big advantage on the boards wasn’t just because of their size, but because they were repeatedly allowed to hold the Butler players down so that they couldn’t jump. However, complaining about the officiating is the loser’s excuse, and those types of things happen in every game. That is not why Butler lost. They simply could not make an open shot. The shots they made all tournament just would not go in tonight. In the first half, they can be forgiven for missing tightly contested shots. In the second half, they had open looks that repeatedly rimmed out. You could tell toward the end it was in their head. The UConn players would feign running out at the shooters, but wouldn’t even put a hand up. Clang! The mental damage had been done. The Bulldogs were changing all their shots whether they were contested or not for fear of them being contested. We’ve never seen Butler so out of sorts throughout the entire tournament. It is a shame, really. If only they could have made a few more shots.

Nevertheless, as they say, to the victor goes the spoils. I saw one particularly amusing Facebook post this evening: “Butler needs to silence the Lamb.” Did they ever. Kemba Walker may have had the most points, but Jeremy Lamb took over the game when it mattered the most. Connecticut really wasn’t utterly dominant, except for a 7-10 minutes stretch in the second half. In the Florida game, that happened, too, but Butler overcame it. In tonight’s game, however, it was enough for UConn. Congratulations to the Connecticut Huskies on the 2011 National Championship. A win is a win, and they certainly worked hard for it from the Big East tournament until now. On the other hand…

A Big Fat Bowl Of Raspberries…

…to CBS for allowing such a surly, boorish, cynical bunch of complainers to spew such negativity at halftime. Analysis is one thing. Yes, the game was poorly played in many ways. But those fellows were unabashedly insulting these kids. It would be one thing if we were talking about paid professionals, but these are kids who are living the dream of a lifetime. Losing is bad enough. They do not need the likes of Charles Barkley ripping them to shreds on national TV. While I enjoyed CBS’s partnership with TNT from a viewing perspective in rounds one and two, I certainly hope they will re-think their staffing next year and ban Barkley and Smith from the desk. Their attempt to make up for it with some lip service praise in the post game didn’t impress me. You blew it, guys. And that’s all I have to say about that.

Now That’s First Class

The Class Act award goes to coach Brad Stevens. There he was, smiling, just outside the locker room as he cordially answered the lady’s questions and spoke highly of his team. Even after a clearly poor performance, to be sure, it is very easy to be a Butler Bulldog fan. I salute you.

They Did Get One Thing Right

The Even A Broken Clock Is Right Twice A Day award goes to CBS for smartly abandoning their one-year experiment of letting what’s-her-face sing “One Shining Moment” in what amounted to a music video for her with a few basketball clips mixed in. The outcry must have been great from that debacle, as this year they brought back Luther Vandross’ smooth, unobtrusive delivery as the backdrop to the best moments of the tournament, from the exciting to the poignant. It’s a March Madness staple, guys. Don’t mess with it again.

Final Contest Awards

Now let us turn our attention to happier matters, the final contest awards.

  • The Jimmy Neutron Award For Childhood Genius goes to Margaret Dean for finishing 4th amongst the kids 12 and under and 12th overall. She gets this award because three other kids finished in the top ten and will receive their awards in a moment.
  • The Justin Beiber Teen Sensation award goes to Chris “The Last Emperor” Rose, the top finisher among the 13-19 age group and 14th overall. Chris will receive a commemorative Justin Beiber bobble head.
  • The Always Go With The Dogs award goes to Mike “I pick by mascots” Meiser, who was the top finisher in the twenty-something age group that did not also finish in the top ten overall. (Mike was 16th overall.)
  • The Xena: Warrior Princess award goes to Christy “Warrior Mom” Bowen who came oh so close to winning the contest but ended up as the top finisher in the thirty-something age group that did not also finish in the top ten overall. (Christy was 11th overall.)
  • The You Didn’t Win Due To Your Unintelligible Alias award goes to Ben “vahokieno1” Sisson who was second in the forty-something age group and 30th overall. (First place in the forty-something age group finished in the top ten.)
  • The Book ‘Em, Dan-O award goes to Gary “insert alias here” DeLong, our top finisher in the March Madness 5-0 age group and 15th overall.
  • The Wisdom Of The Ages award goes to Jeanne “Sweet Grandma” Helke, our top finisher in the 60 and over age group and 17th overall.
  • The Joan Of Arc award goes to the top female contest not otherwise receiving an award, Michelle Schroeder. Michelle finished 5th among the women and 18th overall.
  • The Rookie Of The Year award goes to Jane “Go Urbana” Gomez, who led the contest for a long time and finished 8th among the rookies and 24th overall. (Yes, believe it or not, that means 8 of this year’s top 10 overall were rookies!)
  • The Battle Of The Sexes award, unbelievably, goes to the Women this year, who beat the men 84 to 81 in terms of average score. Oh, the shame!
  • The Flattery Will Get You Nowhere, But Extortion Is Pretty Effective award goes to Scott “Ida Zervbetter” Whitlow, who threatened to boycott next year if he didn’t get an award just because he missed the top 10. Scott finished 31st.
  • The Aren’t You Glad I Didn’t Let You Stay Up And Watch Butler Lose award goes to my oldest daughter, Andrea “I believe in my Bulldogs” Little, who finished 20th overall.
  • The Re-picks Saved My Bacon award goes to Jeffery Cardwell and Chris Deaver, who each got 9 games correct using re-picks. Jeffery finished 23rd, and Chris finished 37th.
  • The Top Prognosticator award goes to the contestant who picked the most games right with original picks. This year’s winner is Ben McCann, who picked 44 out of 63 games correct. Ben finished 35th.
  • The I Hate This Stupid Scoring System award goes to Ron Marshall, who picked two-thirds of the games correctly but finished 164th.

And now for the Top Ten

  • In 10th place, the As Close As A Gordon Hayward Half-Court Heave award goes to Eric Shelton, who was in first before tonight’s game.
  • In 9th place, the I Love This Awesome Scoring System award goes to William “The Candy Man” Harper. William climbed from a low of 514th to finish 9th with a win-loss percentage barely better than UConn’s shooting percentage in tonight’s game. I guess the Candy Man can!
  • In 8th place, the I Don’t Drive Automatics award goes to Aaron “Clutch” VanderMolen.
  • In 7th place, the Multiple Personality Award For Schizophrenic Picking goes to Brian “Steve Zissou” Klecan. It took the both of him to finish this high.
  • In 6th place, the Marc My Words award goes to Marc Hazel, who incidentally was smart enough to change his pick from Duke to Arizona and thus got every game in the West correct.
  • In 5th place, the No Need To Buy A Vowel award goes to Shane “Rhymes with Didn’t Need To Re-pick UConn” Vaiskauskus. Sure, rub it in!
  • In 4th place, the Put Me On The PBA Tour award goes to Andrew “Let’s Celebrate By Goin'” Bolin. Ok, that’s not his alias, but I thought I’d throw in a little Chris Berman.
  • In 3rd place, the Don’t Call Me Valerie award goes to Kim Harper, the highest finishing female entry in the contest.
  • In 2nd place, the Foiled By UCF Knight To Queen 4 award goes to Jacob “Chess Champion” Deaver who finished only six points out of first place.
  • And finally, this year’s Contest Champion, the King, the Grand Poo-bah of Prognostication, let’s have a big round of applause for Christopher “UCF Knight” Randazzo. Christopher reigns supreme among the seven Randazzos in this year’s contest, and I am sure he will enjoy rubbing it in over the next twelve months. Congratulations, Christopher. May visions of Jim Calhoun dance in your head.

And with that, I bid you all adieu once more until the Ides of March return again, and we gather for our annual basketball festival once more. Many thanks to everyone for your participation, your humor, and your encouragement. You are what makes this little contest so special. It is truly a labor of love, and I look forward to seeing you all and a few new friends again next year. Until then, keep in touch, and may the ball always bounce your way.

Warmly,

The Wizard Of Whiteland

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