Close Calls, Good Tries, and Near Meltdowns
I think it is safe to say that tonight’s games provided a bit more drama than the afternoon session. Nevertheless, this year’s tournament has yet to deliver the truly stunning upset. That is not to say that we did not see a few things that were truly stunning. For example…
The Ron Artest Award For Sheer Stupidity goes to Morgan State’s Ameer Ali, who at the end of a lost cause flipped Oklahoma star Blake Griffin over his back in a move Hulk Hogan would be proud of. Needless to say, Mr. Ali was ejected from the game. On paper it appeared as though Morgan State might actually have a chance of competing in this game. Nobody from Oklahoma read that paper.
Zip-a-dee-doo-da, the Zags Out Z the Zips – For the first half, this game was anything but a snoozer. The Akron Zips appeared to be in route to yet another bounce of the perennially underachieving Zags. At one point Gonzaga actually trailed by double digits, but shortly after half time, the Zags went on a 31-6 run, and the ZZ’s were emanating from my nostrils from the eventual blowout. To me, this provides incontrovertible proof that any team with a marsupial for a mascot is destined for failure.
Hey, Is That Your Man? How is it that, while trying to mount some semblance of a comeback, Clemson could leave Michigan’s Manny Harris all alone on the wing? He could not have had a clearer path to the basket in a slam dunk competition. Clearly, Clemson completed their late-season collapse in this debacle, while Michigan won their first tournament game since 1998. Speaking of Clemson…
The Boneheaded Play Of The Day Award goes to Clemson’s Terrence Oglesby, one of Clemson’s primary three-point threats. After going 1-7 from the field in the first half, Oglesby became frustrated not only with his play, but apparently, with the style of defense being played against him. That frustration boiled over into a thrown elbow, which got him ejected from the game early in the second half. Whatever chances Clemson had of a comeback went to the locker room with Oglesby.
Almost, But Not Quite – The American Eagles put on quite a show for the partisan crowd in Philly – partisan in favor of Villanova, that is. Bombing three pointers with devastating precision, the Eagles were up by as many as 10 in the second half. It looked like Cinderella might have finally arrived at the ball. Alas, it was not to be, as Villanova’ssuperior size and strength wore out the Eagles, ending the game in a decisive victory. Oh, the wailing that would have ensued had Villanova lost!
The Two That Nearly Got Away were nail-biters of different varieties. UCLA led VCU for the entire game, but never quite pulled away. Up 1 with just about 10 seconds more on the game clock than the shot clock, UCLA failed to even get a good shot, and turned the ball over on a shot clock violation. VCU has a chance to win with plenty of time remaining. They gave the ball to their star, Eric Maynor, which I understand, but it seemed to me that he never even considered doing anything but shooting the ball himself. He failed to produce a good look, and his game-winning attempt fell harmlessly to the floor as time expired. For UCLA, it was survive and advance.
The second game that nearly got away never should have been in question. Western Kentucky led by as many as 17…in the second half. It seemed obvious that the committee had the seeds reversed in this game. Then, inexplicably, Western Kentucky seemed to become terrified of losing, and even more terrified of winning. Tentative and sloppy, they squandered their big lead, allowing Illinois to come roaring back to within a basket, but the Hilltoppers made just enough free throws to seal the victory and claim the only major upset of day one. The unsinkable Orlando “Don’t Call Me Juan” Mendez-Valdez fought through cramps in both legs to lead his team to victory.
Perfect 10 – Interestingly, both 10 seeds won their games today. I guess maybe 7 isn’t so lucky after all.
Enough of the recap. It’s time for the day one awards.
Day One Awards
The Most Appropriate Alias Award goes to Todd “Flip Of The Coin” Gross, who was precisely 8-8 today, the expected outcome of picking winners with the flip of a coin. You should have flipped tails on the upsets, I guess, because your coin has landed you six spots from last.
The If I Hadn’t Seen It, I Wouldn’t Have Believed It Award goes to our good friend Connie Randazzo, who somehow managed to win fewer games than Bob Hillman, who (remember) picked all 32 underdogs to win.
The That’s What I Get For Listening To Seth Davis Award goes to the army of contestants who picked VCU. Better luck next time.
The Pride Goeth Before The Fall Award goes to Bryson Davis, who informed me via text message that if VCU pulled off the victory, he was going to take control of the contest.
The Most Hilarious Comment Of The Day Award goes to Brad Schafer, who informed me that he had been undone by the defeat of the “bucktoothers”. First person to email me with the proper explanation of what he was referring to gets an award.
The Charlies Angels Awardgoes to three ladies tied for second atop the leader board: the tanned, flip-flop wearing Megan Risner, Cheri Rayles, and Julie “UK Stinks” Lyons. These ladies will receive a recorded message of congratulations from John Forsythe.
The Long Arm Of The Law Award goes to Dan “Where’s A Kopp When You Need One?” Kopp, who leads our senior prognosticators with 27 points. Did you see him lay down the law? He is the laaaaaaaaw giver!
The You Must Be An Alum Award goes to Michelle Schroeder, who picked Butler to go all the way.
The What In The World Was I Thinking? Award goes to me, The Wizard Of Whiteland. During some fit of sleep-deprived, caffeine-induced insanity, I decided to pick Morgan State to beat Oklahoma. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The I Hate This Stupid Scoring System Award goes to an even dozen contestants tied for 134th with a 15-1 record: Tom Williams, Tom Kline, James Lewis, Steven Fifield, Wes Welker???, Sean Fish, Lindsey Fish, Mike Noel, Julie Wilson, Grant McCleary, Marc Hazel, and Russ Degitz. Clearly, y’all lost the wrong one. And speaking of Wes Welker…
The Come On, Use Your Real Name Next Time Award goes to the contestant who entered with the famous New England Patriot’s moniker and equally fictitious email address.
And finally, the You Gotta Be Kidding Me Award goes to Jon Blair, who accomplished a feat I am not sure I have seen in 14 years of doing the contest. He got all 16 games correct! That’s right folks, 16 and 0. If any of you contest veterans can remember that ever happening before, shoot me an email. For now, Jon, I stand in awe of your predictive majesty. Obviously, this puts Jon in sole possession of first place…for now.
Parting Shots
I just added a new feature to your contestant’s picks page. Now, in addition to your current rank, you will also see a “Hi” and a “Lo” rank. These are, as the names imply, the highest and lowest ranks you have achieved throughout the contest. I thought it would be interesting to see how quickly, and how drastically, your fortunes can turn. They don’t call it Madness for nothing.
With that, the first exhausting day of March Madness concludes. We start all over again tomorrow at noon. I hope that our 132 rookies are enjoying themselves and that our veterans are as irritated as ever!