Maybe I should have entitled this edition of the commentary “Enough Is Enough” or “Enough Already!”  Tonight’s games were won by a total of a whopping 70 points!  The only game that was even remotely exciting was so only because it was this year’s Cinderella, Davidson, that was putting on a second-half clinic for Wisconsin.  Davidson’s performance was truly impressive as they essentially out-badgered the Badgers with in-your-face defense.  The were completely outplayed in the second half.  This game really shook up the standings, because the few folks who picked Davidson to win from the beginning scored a 9-point Scategories bonus in addition to the 7-point upset bonus for a total of 16 points for that one game.

Elite Eight By The Numbers – This year’s Elite Eight is comprised of 5 teams from the Big 6 conferences and 3 from “elsewhere”.  Half of the eight are the four top seeds.  The remaining four consist of a two seed, two three seeds, and a ten that looks more like a three or four.  The Big 12 has two teams remaining, while the vaunted Big East has one, along with the ACC and Pac-10.  Seven of the eight remaining teams have an animal for a mascot.  Only Xavier is human.

Which One Is Done?  Every year I point out that it has never happened that all four number 1 seeds advance to the Final Four.  All four top seeds still remain this year, and for history to hold serve, one of them has to lose this weekend.  Who is it most likely to be?

• North Carolina? The Tarheels face what looks like a very strong Louisville team, but are they strong enough?  No, I don’t think so.  Louisville will make a game of it, but UNC is on a mission, and will not be deterred.
• Kansas? Davidson is an awesome Cinderella story, and Stephen Curry is unbelievable.  However, no number 10 has ever advanced to the Final Four, and so it would be easy to say that this one is also a no-brainer.  That’s exactly what a certain Connecticut team thought last year when 11-seed George Mason entered the gym.  45 minutes later, George Mason was going to the Final Four.  Kansas should win this game, but never underestimate Kansas’ ability to fold in the tournament or lose to a mid-major.
• Memphis? Ok, I’ll admit I thought these guys were the most vulnerable one seed, and I picked them to lose to Michigan State.  They must have tacked my commentary from last week on their bulletin board, because they looked unstoppable tonight.  I still think that in a close game, their woeful free throw shooting will be their undoing.  If Texas can keep the game close, I like their chances.
• UCLA? Of all the top seeds, UCLA has been the one with the closest calls so far.  In addition, they face a formidable opponent in Xavier on a mission to avenge last year’s bitter defeat at the hands of Ohio State.  If I had to pick one top seed that I thought was most likely to lose this weekend, I think I would go with UCLA.

From The Mouth Of Babes– So I’m sitting on the couch watching the end of the Memphis game with my oldest daughter, Andrea.  For some reason they showed a brief clip of a tournament game from 1979, and my daughter remarked with absolute sincerity, “Woah!  Look at how short those shorts are!”  Does anyone remember exactly when basketball shorts grew to knee length?  Maybe it was the Michigan Fab 5 that was the original Baggy Britches Brigade.

Ok, so I think I’m fresh out of interesting things to say about tonight’s games, because tonight’s games weren’t that interesting.  Therefore, let us move on to more important matters such as the round 3 awards.

The Perfect Picker With An Asterisk award goes to three contestants who picked all eight of the Elite Eight correctly.  This award comes with an asterisk, however, because all three contestants needed the re-pick round to accomplish this feat.  No contestant picked all eight correctly with original picks.  The winners are Dan Jones, RJ Wynn, and Yardley Glassley.  Yardley gets a gold star instead of an asterisk for having such a unique first name.

The Biggest Loser award, sponsored by Caroline Rhea, goes to Bob Hillman, who dropped 213 spots from 94 to 307 in round 3, and Josh Christopherson, who dropped 96 spots from 16 to 112.

The My Better Is Better Than Your Better award, sponsored by LaDanian Tomlinson, goes to Tony Teasley, who climbed 301 spots from 399 to 98, and Jonathan Hand, who climbed 55 spots from 69 to 14.

The Ocho Cinco Award Of Spanish Illiteracy, sponsored by the one and only Chad Johnson, goes to the contestant who just happens to be in position 85, Paul Schnaitter.  For the record, 85 in Spanish is ochenta y cinco.

The Looks Like It Could Be The Couch For You award goes to Andrew Ables, whose wife, Christine, proclaimed through her alias that her only goal was to beat him.  While Andrew’s rank is a none-to-impressive 352, that is still much better than 5 from the bottom, where Christine sits. 

The Don’t Look Now But Your Kid Is Beating You award goes to Wayne Murray, whose youngest son, Elliott, is two positions ahead of him.

The Crash And Burn award goes to Vanessa Sopke, one time top-20 contestant who has dropped to 69.  I hope it was fun while it lasted.

The No Guts, No Glory award goes to Jason Dukes, who picked Davidson for the Final Four with an original pick.  If that actually happens, Mr. Dukes will earn 24 points with a trueScategories bonus.  He is the only contestant out of 444 to pick Davidson for the Final Four.

The Better Luck Next Year award goes to seven contestants who have lost alltheir remaning teams: Al Davis, Jacob Alles, Maria Randazzo, Rebecca Davis, Josh Christopherson, and Bob Hillman.  For these seven, there is truly nowhere to go but down in the standings.

And finally, the Wire To Wire award goes to the man who is still the contest leader, Robert “Smoke” Tipton.  Robert’s lead is commanding, but not insurmountable.  If you’re chasing Robert, root against Texas, his national champion.

Final four is determined this weekend.  Let’s hope for some more competitive games.