“Set your eyes to Zion”
P.O.D.
Some really good basketball was played tonight, especially in the late games. I hope you were able to watch, but in case you weren’t, read on for the Wizard’s take on tonight’s battles. The field has now been reduced to eight – a great eight. (Contest veterans may recall my aversion to the term “Elite Eight”. For reasons completely irrational, I don’t like it. It just doesn’t have a nice ring to it.)
Great Hair, Bad Calls, Injuries, and Close Calls
While the first two days of March Madness are the arguably the best two days in sports, from a perspective of writing these commentaries, these two days – the Sweet Sixteen rounds – are probably my favorite. With just four games a night, the material to cover is just perfect – not too much, not too little. It’s baby bear territory – just right.
- East bound and down, loaded up and truckin’. UNC’s Luke Maye bears a strong resemblance to a young Burt Reynolds. I also agree with Sam Brauen’s take that he shared on Twitter: “Fairly certain Luke Maye was at UNC longer than Aaron Craft was at Ohio St.”
- March Madness can get a little hairy. UNC’s Coby White has reportedly been growing his hair since he was a freshman in high school, giving him a coif about which play-by-play man Ian Eagle quipped, “He’s got that weeping willow look.” Speaking of great hair, Virginia Tech’s Ahmed Hill puts his braids up in pig tails that give him a Shrek kind of vibe. It’s truly spectacular.
- Duke wins another close one. Zion Williamson is a pro playing among amateurs. He is the most dominant player in college basketball, and it’s not close. The man is headed for a big payday this summer. With Cam Reddish a surprising late scratch due to injury, the Blue Devils needed 100% from their NBA lottery pick, and he delivered. Incredibly, for the second game in a row, Duke’s opponent had a shot at the basket as time expired, albeit this time for a tie instead of a win. One could argue that Duke should never have been in that position, as replay clearly showed Virginia Tech’s Kerry Blackshear had his foot on the line as he saved the ball from going out of bounds with 5 seconds to go. Of course, that play is not reviewable, because logic, and because it would have been so easy to get it right in, like, two seconds of review time. But no, the only time we have video reviews is when we want to spend five minutes deciding whether to put two tenths or three tenths of a second back on the clock, or to decide if player Z committed a flagrant foul with unnecessary or excessive contact above the shoulders. Meanwhile both teams get a free timeout. But we can’t possibly change a blatantly missed, easily correctable call for which we have conclusive video evidence. That would be unfair…or something. Horse dead. Dismounting.
- The Fighting Barkleys win again, making their deepest tournament run in 33 years. Auburn made 17 three-pointers, including four from Danjel Purifoy on their way to hanging 97 big ones on North Carolina. It may have been something of a pyrrhic victory for the Tigers, however, as team leader and leading scorer for the game Chuma Okeke went down with what coach Bruce Pearl believes could be a very serious knee injury. Nevertheless, the Auburn win sets up an SEC showdown in the Midwest regional final with the subject of our next take…
- To win in March, sometimes you need a Herro. Kentucky was very happy to get PJ Washington back from injury, but it was Tyler Herro who hit the go-ahead three-pointer to lift the Wildcats to victory over Houston. This was another nail-biter, and to be fair, Houston’s Cory Davis was probably fouled on his game-tying shot attempt, but he didn’t get the call. Kentucky fans have to like their chances of another Final Four appearance now that they get to face a familiar opponent most likely without their best and most versatile player.
- Panic! At the tournament. I’m fairly confident that in every game I’ve watched so far, I have heard one of the pep bands playing a song by power pop act Panic! At The Disco. At least we are spared endless repetitions of the theme from Game of Thrones this year.
- It seems that the NCAA may be a little geographically challenged. The West regional is in Anaheim, CA. Makes sense. Midwest is in Kansas City, MO. Roger that as well. East is in D.C. OK, I’ll buy that, too. But the South regional is being played in…Louisville, KY? Sure, if you grew up in Indiana like I did, Kentucky is south…ish, but Louisville? Louisville is in northern Kentucky, and it definitely snows there in the winter. To me “South” has to be at least south of the Mason-Dixon line. Your mileage may vary.
- Balance has been restored to the Force. After both 3 seeds defeated their 2 seed opponents yesterday, the roles were reversed this evening with both 2 seeds advancing. UNC gets the dubious honor of being the first 1 seed to go down. Auburn is the lowest remaining seed at 5. What does all of that mean? Not much, really, except that there aren’t many upset bonus points left to be earned in the contest.
- The best thing I heard in a post-game interview tonight happened when Coach K was asked (in reference to the final play of the game when Ahmed Hill, aka Shrek, had practically a layup for the tie), “How do you usually defend that?” Coach K’s response: “Better.”
- And now for a short lesson in the rules of basketball. There is this mythical foul oft mentioned by fans, parents, analysts, and announcers the world over, and despite its ubiquitous references, it doesn’t exist in the basketball rule book. The foul I am referring to is “over the back”, and I assure you, there is no such thing. If a taller player grabs the ball over a shorter player while positioned behind him, it is not automatically a violation, though you will almost always hear the howls of protest from the stands. “That’s over the back, ref! Open your eyes!” No, sorry, but it is not against the rules to grab the ball while standing behind another player so long as you do not foul said player in the process. What is against the rules is to use your body to gain an advantage on such a play, and that is true regardless of whether said player is positioned behind, in front of, or beside the offended player.
- Reality check. The latest commercial for the new Orange Vanilla Coke features a dilapidated pick-up truck full of oranges crashing through a concrete
highway barrier, spilling a handful of oranges and continuing merrily on its journey to join forces with the vanilla ice cream truck. That’s clever and all, but what actually happens when a piece of junk pick-up truck hits a concrete barrier at high speed? The concrete barrier does not shatter in a cloud of dust. It doesn’t even move. The pick-up is smashed to smithereens, and oranges aplenty are strewn down the freeway for miles, leading to a massive traffic jam and thousands of angry commuters. But I suppose that plot line wouldn’t sell much soda. - Don’t look now, but a drop-the-mic worthy war of words is being waged among the employees of Visage Imaging via their contest aliases. You know who you are.
Awards Time
- I was a bit surprised to find that no one got all eight of the Elite Eight correct with original picks. Therefore, the Crazy Eights award goes to one Kathy Deaver, the only minion who picked all eight games correctly with the benefit of the re-picks. Kathy is currently in 47th place.
- The One Day, A Jedi Will You Be, Young Padawan award goes to Brock Zagel who informed me that he provides his own “mini-Jeff commentary” each morning for his co-workers who play in the contest. Well done, my apprentice.
- The Best Alias I Saw Tonight goes to Peter “Error //UNC/ChampionshipPath AccessDenied” Szabla. Well played, sir. (See aforementioned alias war.)
- The Father Still Knows Best award goes to Brad Walters who has finally moved one spot ahead of his son, Luke Walters. They are 21st and 22nd respectively.
- The Oh Ye Of Little Faith award goes to David “the year of the boiler” Ricks, currently in 13th place. When I looked at David’s picks, I fully expected to find Purdue as national champion, but David does not even have them in the Final Four. Clearly David resisted the temptation to pick with the heart rather than the head.
- The Best Alias Relating To Today’s Hair Theme goes to Brian “J. Bilas wishes he had Coby White’s hair” Trout. My guess is that Jay Bilas wishes he had anyone’s hair. Brian is currently tied for 100th with Purdue senior Braden Murray, who gets the While The Basketball Team Is Off Pursuing Hoops Glory, I’m Stuck On Campus Studying award.
- The There’s No Sense In Giving Myself Another Award award goes to me. Though I am still in the lead, I will not remain there. I have lost two Final Four teams on the same side of the bracket, meaning I can only win four of the remaining seven games. Not sure who is in the best position to win now, but I am confident it is not the Wizard. All talk of cheating and Russian collusion can stop now, thank you.
Great Games Tomorrow
It doesn’t take much analysis to see there are a very large number of Purdue fans in the contest this year. The Boilers will have their work cut out for them tomorrow night against Virginia, but since they have already beaten my pick, I wouldn’t mind a Purdue victory so much. The other game is much more important to me as an unabashed Gonzaga fanboy. I will admit that the stifling defense of Texas Tech worries me, but I think the Zags can win in a grinder, and I think they have the size to match up with the Red Raiders that Michigan lacked.
That’s all for tonight, minions. Tune in tomorrow for more March Madness musings.
The Wizard of Whiteland