“Work eight hours and sleep eight hours and make sure that they are not the same hours.” – T. Boone Pickens

The Great Eight

I know I have ground this axe before in commentaries past, but do you not agree that we should label the last eight teams in the tournament something other than “Elite”?  I know it is completely irrational on my part, but I am so averse to the term “Elite Eight” that I basically refuse to say it.  It feels like a media contrivance to me, an attempt to copy the alliterative and colloquial qualities of “Sweet Sixteen” and “Final Four” in a way that just doesn’t work.  Sweet Sixteen connects us to the joyful emotions of that unique coming-of-age milestone, and Final Four carries with it a sort of regal grandeur worthy of an Epic.  Elite Eight falls flat where those two succeed.  It just doesn’t do it for me.  It says, “We had an intern in the communications department search the Thesaurus for a word starting with ‘E’ that means ‘awesome’, and this was the best he could come up with.”  I think it is about time we renamed these eight teams who have managed to make it halfway to glory, winning three of the six games in a row necessary to be champion.  I am partial to Great Eight myself.  It rolls easily off the tongue, and the rhyme is sensible.  What are your thoughts?  Email or tweet me your ideas, and I will mention the best (and probably the worst, also) in my commentary.

Game Thoughts

• Super Nova – Consider for a moment that West Virginia is arguably the best defensive team in all of college basketball with the exception of Virginia (and we all know what happened to them).  Now observe that Villanova just put up a 90 burger on them.  The Wildcats are so strong, so diverse, and have so many offensive weapons that I believe they are now the team to beat.  According to our Championship Predictions report, 193 of you agree with me.
• What A Difference A Bazooka Can Make – Ok, it is an admittedly poor play on words, but the much ballyhooed return of Kansas big man Udoka Azubuike just in time for the tournament has, without question, improved Kansas’ fortunes immensely.  Tonight The Bazooka (which is what I shall call him henceforth) put up a 14 and 11 double-double before fouling out.  Without The Bazooka there is no way Kansas beats Clemson in this game, a game decided by just four points.
• Lob City – That’s what we should call tonight’s game between Duke and Syracuse.  I don’t have the exact statistics, although I am certain some nerd at Elias has them somewhere, but I personally cannot remember a game with so many lobs to the basket.  It appeared this was a byproduct of both teams playing that Syracuse zone defense, which oddly seemed better implemented by Duke than Syracuse this evening.  With both Syracuse and West Virginia now out of the tournament, I am hopeful that we will not have to endure any more slogfests.
• A Couple Of Guys Named Smith – There’s an old joke about a man with a wooden leg named Smith.  “What was the name of his other leg?” is the punchline.  Tonight the joke was on Purdue, as the Texas Tech tandum of Zhaire and Zach Smith combined for 27 points to beat the Boilermakers.  We all know that Smith is one of the most common surnames in all of America, so there is nothing remarkable about having two Smiths on the same team, but what are the chances of having two Smiths on the same team with given names that start with the letter ‘Z’?  Purdue fans will be quick to point out that the Boilermakers have their own same-surname-but-no-relation tandem of Carsen and Vince Edwards who combined for an even more impressive 42 points in the loss.  If I ever get a chance to coach a college basketball team, I am going to purposely recruit five guys with the same last name just to irritate the stats geeks at Elias and exasperate Jim Nantz.
• Balance Has Been Restored To The Galaxy – As I noted yesterday, the left side of the bracket is more like a “Huh?  Who?” than a who’s who of basketball brilliance.  That side of the bracket has a 3, two 9’s, and an 11 seed.  Conversely, the right side of the bracket is more like the college basketball hall of fame (with the exception of Texas Tech, of course).  On that side we have both 1s, a 2, and a 3.  In a way this is unfortunate, as it means that in all likelihood the best two teams in the Final Four will play each other in the semifinal rather than the final.
• Thanks, Captain Obvious – In the post game panel discussion on TBS, guest commentator and Wichita State coach Greg Marshall, when asked for his thoughts on the upcoming East regional final game between Villanova and Texas Tech offered this expert analysis: “The team that plays better is going to win.”  Ya think?
• Mascot Madness – A quick look at the Mascot Watch report reveals that the Native Americans, Mustelids (look it up), and Evil Spirits are undefeated thus far, a combined 9-0.  One is guaranteed to remain undefeated after the weekend, as the Seminoles play the Wolverines in the West regional final.  Kansas has the tall task of exorcising the Duke evil spirits from the bracket.
• Games That Matter – Keep an eye on that Kansas State vs Loyola-Chicago game, as no matter who wins, some contestants will collect a 24-point scategories bonus.  A trip to the Final Four for either Florida State or Texas Tech would also earn a scategories bonus for a few skilled (or lucky) minions.  And speaking of luck vs skill…
• The Best Thing I Saw On My Phone Today…was a text from Paul Sopke, currently in 20th place.  He dropped from 16th when Purdue lost.  In any case, he sent me this text: “Bro, I’m in 16th place in your contest and I literally picked all my selections not looking at the screen..{big smiley}  Then, I did my re-picks via ‘eeny, meeny, miny, mo’!”  There you have it, folks.  The secret to success in Jeff’s March Madness Contest is as simple as eeny, meeny, miny, mo.

Round Three Awards

Now that we have our, ahem, Great Eight, it is definitely time to hand out some well-deserved awards.

• The Great Eight award, given in honor of the brilliant new name the world is about to embrace for the final eight teams in the tournament, goes to Bradley Geistwhite, currently in 29th place, whose judicious use of re-picks enabled him to get all eight games correct.
• The Lost In A Time Warp ward goes to second place minion Veronica Ramirez who, according to her alias, missed the re-pick deadline due to time zone differences.  For future reference, all contest deadlines are in Eastern Daylight Time.
• The Jekyll and Hyde award for the wildest swings in contest fortunes goes to Caroline Fairchild, who has been as high as 28th, as low as 738th, and now sits in 60th.
• The Biggest Loser award, sponsored by Weight Watchers, goes to Clayton Fields, once 21st but now 708th and with nowhere to go but down.
• The Rocket Man award goes to Elliott Murray, who has climbed from a dismal 740th all the way up to 34th.  Elliott will receive a signed copy of Elton John’s Greatest Hits.
• The Best Alias Update I Saw This Week award goes to a couple of clever minions: Jason “The Haas-pital caused Haarms” Roehl and Kelli “Who’s Ready For Another Round Of” Payne.  Well played.
• The Looking On The Bright Side award goes to 763rd place contestant Dylan “There’s always next year…or the next” Scheumann.  Dylan took advantage of the re-picks and still managed to lose almost every game, most of his Final Four, both national finalists, and his national champ.  A for effort, Dylan.  A for effort.
• The I’m The Better Bowen award goes to Julie Bowen, currently in 4th place and 10 points ahead of 10th place contestant, Christy Bowen.
• And finally, the This Contest Has To Be Rigged Somehow award goes to the apparently clairvoyant Paula Novak, our current contest leader who incredibly picked six of the Great Eight with original picks.  She didn’t pick the “easy” six, either.  I’m talking Kansas State, Loyola-Chicago, Florida State, and Texas Tech to go with the “easier” picks of Kansas and Duke.  Those are original picks, minions, not re-picks.  She only had to re-pick one game (Villanova) and only lost one game in this round (Texas A&M).

Now that I have completed what amounts to a 24-hour marathon, I’m off to count sheep.  Tomorrow’s…er, today’s South and West regional finals are sure to shake up the contest standings, so stay tuned!

Until next time,

The Wizard of Whiteland

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