Now you can call me lucky,’cause Lucky’s my name.
Singin’ and dancin’, that’s my game.
I never did a whole day’s work in my life,
Still everything seems to turn out right… – School House Rock, “Lucky Seven Sampson”
With the weekend’s last cup of coffee close at hand, I offer you loyal minions the final commentary from the first week of this year’s March Madness.
Sooners and Shockers and Spartans, Oh My!
Today’s thrilling victories were brought to you by the letter ‘S’, as it seems only fitting that every team whose moniker begins with ‘S’ advanced to the Sweet Sixteen.
- This…Is…Spartaaaaaaaa – If I’ve said it once, I’ve send it 20 times. Never bet against Tom Izzo in March. Sparty did it again today, handing the ACC its first defeat and sending the tournament’s first #2 seed, Virginia, home early. This defeat must have been particularly galling for the Cavaliers, as it is the second year in a row they have been eliminated by the Spartans. The path to the Final Four for Michigan State just became a lot clearer, as now both #1 Villanova and #2 Virginia are out in their region.
- D Is For Domination – Duke. Okafor. Sweet 16. Next topic.
- I Have A Feeling We Aren’t In Kansas Anymore – Two teams from the state of Kansas who haven’t played one another since 1993 squared off for bragging rights in the day’s second #2 vs #7 matchup, and the Wichita State Shockers demonstrated why Kansas refuses to schedule them. You may recall the Shockers entered last year’s tournament undefeated and with high hopes only to have them dashed in the second round by a ridiculously under-seeded Kentucky team that ultimately played for the national championship. No doubt that makes this victory over Kansas even sweeter, and Jayhawk fans have got to be asking themselves what is going on in Lawrence. Since losing to Kentucky in the 2012 national championship game, Kansas has received a #1 and two #2 seeds in the last three tournaments but has made the Sweet 16 only once out of the three.
- Sooners Ground Flyers – Columbus is only 72 miles from Dayton, but that wasn’t enough to propel the Flyers to another improbable Cinderella run. Having played in the First Four on Tuesday, this was Dayton’s sixth game in 10 days going back to their conference tournament. Add to that the ridiculous 11 PM tipoff versus Providence on Friday night, and one has to think these fly boys might have simply run out of gas.
- Winless In Seattle – I doubt Seattle will be a vacation destination for Iowans any time soon, as both teams from the Hawkeye state were eliminated in consecutive games in Key Arena today. The Gonzaga Bulldogs played like a team with something to prove, pounding the Iowa Hawkeyes in an offensive clinic. It has been reported that Gonzaga coach Mark Few bristled when questioned if his past teams’ lack of success in the tournament tarnished their accomplishments. Let me assure you, these Zags are NOT those Zags. They are deep, balanced, disciplined, focused, and deadly efficient on offense. A potential matchup with Duke in the regional final should be highly entertaining. In the second game in Seattle, trendy Final Four sleeper pick Northern Iowa lost in a slugfest with Louisville in a highly physical affair. Louisville’s path to the Final Four, like Michigan State’s, is now potentially easier, but these Cardinals tend to have long scoring droughts, and I’m not sure they can afford that against the likes of NC State or Michigan State.
- Hipsters Vs Hoopsters – You know those video games where you can play a fantasy team from years gone by against some modern team? The Madden games offer that, for example. That’s what came to mind when I flipped over to the game between Wisconsin and Oregon. There are the Ducks fully adorned in hip West Coast regalia including neon green shoes and jerseys watermarked with mighty Oregon pines. And then there are the Badgers in what can best be described as throwback uniforms from the 50s, plain white with big block red numbers and not much else. Add in the crew cuts and granny shot free throws and you’ve got a team straight out of Hoosiers. Fortunately for the Badgers, it’s a basketball game, not a fashion show, and Bo Ryan’s bunch handed the Pac 12 it’s first loss to advance to the Sweet 16.
- Bring Out The Cannons – Finally, there was this fight between Maryland and West Virginia in which a basketball game briefly broke out. Now, I observed that one of the Terrapins is named Cekovsky, which when pronounced, sounds an awful lot like Tchaikovsky. How appropriate. The 1812 Overture would have been the perfect soundtrack for the carnage. How rough was it? Maryland star Melo Trimble left the game with a concussion after being kicked in the head…by his own teammate. One thing is certain. Bob Huggins has definitely brought his unique brand of basketbrawl from Cincinnati to West Virginia, and some say that’s just what the doctor ordered to upset Kentucky. I don’t know if I believe that, but they’ll certainly go down swinging…literally.
Sunday Quotables
- “This is a butt whoopin’.” – My 12-year-old daughter, Ashlyn, after returning home from her middle school church small group meeting and seeing Gonzaga up by 20. She followed that up with another gem a short time later. As the game ended, a despondent Iowa fan was shown crying on camera. Ashlyn quipped, “She should have cried at halftime.” That’s cold, Asho. Ice cold.
- “Maryland has more turnovers than a pastry shop.” – Posted to Facebook by alert minion Jason Roehl, no doubt in response to Maryland’s whopping 21 turnovers.
Sweet 16 By The Numbers
- Lucky Number 7 – It was a good day to be a #7. They went 2-1 against #2 seeds. Gonzaga is the only #2 to advance today.
- Double Your Digits, Double Your Trouble – Only one double-digit seed remains in the Sweet 16, #11 UCLA.
- Conference Watch – The ACC is 11-1 so far. The Pac 12 is 7-1. The Big 12 and Big East are 5-5. Here’s the representation by conference of this year’s Sweet 16. ACC: 5; Pac 12: 3; Big 12: 2; B1G: 2; SEC, MVC, WCC, Big East: 1 each.
- Scategoria – There will be a lot of Scategories bonuses available in the next round if certain underdogs can pull off the upset. Perhaps the best opportunity is NC State who faces an in-conference rival in Louisville with which they are very familiar. Wichita State certainly has a chance against Notre Dame. The others are long shots, but, hey, it’s March! Anything can happen.
Round Two Awards
And now it’s time to hand out the hardware for round two.
- The I’m Not Superstitious award goes to five contestants who picked 13 of the Sweet Sixteen correctly: Nicole Kelso, Jonathan Hand, Jeff Taylor, Abby Jackson, and your humble Wizard. No one did better than 13.
- The Einstein’s Bagel Of The Week award goes to two minions who managed to get all sixteen games WRONG: Daniel Labbato and Isaiah Geistwhite. If you ask me, that’s quite an accomplishment. You guys want cream cheese with your bagels?
- No one picked all five second round upsets, but a few minions did get 4 out of 5. They get the 80/20 Rule award: Jeff Taylor, John Wilcox, Abby Schneckloth, Nicole Kelso, Remmy Davidson, Emma Dean, Jonathan Hand, and, again, yours truly.
- The Stop Tooting Your Own Horn award goes to me again for pointing out that I have managed to claw my way from 606th to 37th over the last two days. Never underestimate the Wizard.
- The What Can Brauen Do For You? award goes to 10th place contestant Sammy “How is Kentucky a 1 Seed” Brauen. Hopefully I’ve given you enough context clues to help you pronounce Brauen properly. Sam gets an authentic UPS driver’s uniform with his name embroidered on the shirt.
- The Run Him Out of Town on a Roehl award goes to Jason “Barles Charkley” Roehl, who has impressively climbed to 4th place.
- The Don’t Tug On My Cape award goes to Al “Superman” Davis, currently in 16th place.
- The Why Can’t We Be Friends? award goes to 19th place minion Jim “The Reverend” Jones and Thomas “Not Drinking the Big Blue Nation KoolAid” Vessely, currently tied for 376th. Maybe Tom should just drink the Kool Aid.
- The Cheer Up award goes to Amber “March Sadness” Little. Why be sad? You’re in the top 50!
- The Just Because You Begged Me For An Award award goes to 118th place minion Nathan “Please Oh Please Give Me An Award” Haffner. The Wizard is most gracious and kind.
- The You Can Say That Again award goes to Doug “Repicks can’t fix this disaster” Goodwin, who is currently in 750th place.
- The Colorblind award goes to 748th place contestant Liana “I pick by color except for Kentucky” Wilson.
- The Can You Say Gonzaga? award goes to Jenny Ott, currently tied for 631st. That’s an inside joke.
- And finally, the Leader Of The Pack award goes to our leader after 48 games completed, Sue “no clue” Chmura. Sue will receive an authentic Green Bay Packers Mark Chmura #89 jersey.
(Disclaimer: Nobody actually receives anything. You know that, right? If I actually had all of that stuff, I wouldn’t be giving it away. I’d be on Pawn Stars or something.)
Re-pick Round Has Begun!
Before I sign off, let me remind you that the re-pick round has now begun. This is a very important element of Jeff’s March Madness Contest, and one that you do not want to ignore. What’s the re-pick round? I am glad you asked! Everything you need to know to make your re-picks can be found on the website here. Of course, if you are having issues, feel free to email me. I introduced the re-picks several years ago to keep people interested and to give those near the bottom new hope. I can tell you for sure that people have LOST the contest in years past simply because they didn’t take advantage of the re-picks. It’s kind of like those Rob Lowe Direct TV commercials. Don’t be like THIS me and ignore the re-picks. Get your re-picks in before the deadline Thursday at 7:00 PM EDT.
And with that, it’s time for me to take an 89 hour break from the madness. If you have issues with your password or your re-picks, let me know. Otherwise, I will see you again Thursday night.
Back behind the curtain I go,
The Wizard of Whiteland