“There are only two kinds of people in the world, the Irish, and those who wish they were.” – Old Irish Proverb

After a rare night of Sweet Sixteen blowouts Thursday, Friday treated us to at least two competitive games. One I’m glad I watched; the other, not so much.

ACC Runs The Table

After going 0-2 last night, the ACC reaffirmed its dominance by going 4-0 tonight. Two won in convincing fashion, the other two with a little luck and a dash of March Madness.

• This Hair Club Is For Men – There must be some requirement about how much hair you have in order to play for Virginia, or perhaps it’s some sort of Samsonesque secret of their success. Or maybe they all avoid the barber for fear of running afoul of the NCAA’s improper benefit rules if they aren’t charged full price. Whatever the case, the Cavaliers won another game in convincing fashion. Maybe Syracuse should send over a barber.  Maybe they should send an NCAA rules official. No, I have it. They should send money, and then send an NCAA rules official! And speaking of Syracuse…
• Orange You Glad Jim Boeheim Is In Another Elite Eight? – No, we’re not, with the exception of the 21 minions who got a Scategories bonus for this game. I can tell you from experience that it is hard being a Gonzaga fan. The infamous Adam Morrison collapse seems to have brought a curse of sorts, not allowing Gonzaga to get over the proverbial hump. No matter what the talking heads on CBS or TNT or TBS or ESPN are saying, this loss had very little to do with the ballyhooed Syracuse 2-3 zone defense. Gonzaga had more than figured out how to score enough to win this game. The fact is that Gonzaga gave this game away with dumb decisions in the last 90 seconds, and while the magnitude of their collapse wasn’t quite the same as Northern Iowa’s when measured in points, it was just as epic when measured in undiluted boneheadedness. They turned the ball over under their own basket for an easy score. They turned it over again on a 10 second call. And while still leading the game, the otherwise magnificent Kyle Wiltjer takes a quick shot instead of using clock. Then on their final possession they turn it over again only to have their bacon saved by a missed out of bounds call, but it was for naught. Instead of getting the ball to Wilter or Sabonis (who was a monster with 19 points and 17 rebounds), Josh Perkins takes a runner in the lane and has it blocked by Tyler Lydon who hadn’t done anything noteworthy the entire game but blocked two shots in the final 40 seconds. It was one thing for the Zags to lose to eventual national champion Duke last year, but to lose to the insufferably smug and unrepentant Jim Boeheim and his team of Orange who didn’t even win 20 games prior to the tournament really leaves a bad taste in ones mouth. For the Zags, this is definitely the one that got away.
• And While I’m On This Rant – While much is being said of this being Syracuse’s third Elite Eight appearance in five years, should we really be impressed? First, they beat Dayton. A good team but not exactly a powerhouse. Then they got Middle Tennessee on their post-epic-upset hangover. This happens in the second round to every 15 seed not named Florida Gulf Coast. And tonight, they get a gift from a Gonzaga team that was, by all reasonable measures, clearly superior but the victim of its own dumb decisions. I therefore boldly predict that Virginia will absolutely obliterate Syracuse on Sunday night. It won’t even be close. The 2-3 zone will neither be new nor scary to the Cavaliers, and their pace of play will essentially allow them to out-Syracuse Syracuse.  This could be another game in the 50s.
• Luck Of The Irish Strikes Again – How many games can Notre Dame win in the closing seconds? As I was suffering through another Wisconsin-induced basketball coma, my thoughts went back to a story my grandfather told me. My grandfather played basketball in the early 30s and shot free throws underhanded (“granny” style). He told me of a game he played in high school that his team won by the score of 2-0. That’s two to nothing. This Wisconsin/Notre Dame game felt just like that until the last 19 seconds. I had tweeted “First one to 50 wins,” and when the Badgers reached that mark first, it seemed as if I was going to be right. Then those last 19 seconds happened, Notre Dame went on a 8-0 run, and now they’re going to the Elite Eight for the second year in a row. North Carolina awaits them, which isn’t exactly a reward, but maybe they have enough good luck left in their sneakers to pull off the impossible. And speaking of North Carolina…
• Tarheels Turn The Paige On The Hoosiers – I’ll be honest. I didn’t watch much of this game. I was too busy shouting at the television and hurling small, non-dangerous objects across the room because of the Gonzaga game. I do know that Marcus Paige went 6-9 from beyond the arc, and that Indiana just was never really in this game. The Hoosiers got to the Sweet Sixteen in part by playing good defense, but when the other team hangs a hundred on you, that’s not so good. Indiana coach Tom Crean said Paige played like he was in a video game, and I think that’s an accurate assessment. If North Carolina continues to play at this level, I don’t know who’s going to beat them.
• Familiar Faces – With all the Madness this tournament has offered us, the Elite Eight is devoid of surprises or Cinderellas. Sure, Syracuse is a 10 seed, but they’re Syracuse, one of a number of usual suspects that tend to still be around this time of year: North Carolina, Kansas, and Villanova are names we are accustomed to seeing three columns deep in our brackets, and even Oklahoma has had some success in the past. Virginia is a relative newcomer, but has certainly been strong the past two or three years. Of the eight, perhaps only Oregon qualifies as a newcomer, but as the #1 seed in the West from the Pac 12, they are hardly a surprise or an underdog. So, the table is set this weekend for a sort of clash of the typical titans for a trip to the Final Four. All four #1 seeds still remain, and frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if this ended up being a year where they all advance.

Sweet Sixteen Awards

• The Seventh Heaven award goes to the minions who got seven of the Elite Eight correct without using any re-picks: Trevor Anderson, Sarah Leap, Tom Brantner, Jeff Harrington, Matthew Muschalik, Cason Dilulio, Kassy Morales, and Heather Hearne. The And One award goes to Jeff Harrington who, rather weirdly, is the only one of this bunch who managed to pick the 8th game correctly with a re-pick.
• The Domer Homers award goes to the six contestants who picked Notre Dame to go all the way with their original pick: Margaret Dean, Tyler Drone, Pete Klinker, Debbie Kohut, Lilly RIchardson, and Tracy Sines. If they win it all, you all receive the Ultimate Scategories Bonus worth 96 points, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.
• The Crash And Burn award goes to Kip Layman, once proud owner of 9th place, now in 407th.
• The Lead Pipe Lock award goes to 48th place minion Matt “Predicting n ACC team n the Championship” Hand. Since one side of the Elite Eight is composed entirely of ACC teams, the chances of that happening are, in the words of LeBron James, “one out of one, or 100 percent.”
• The And The Horse You Rode In On award goes to Kirk “Best Of Miller Expedited” Daniels for using his alias to punk on his coworkers. Kirk is currently in 12th place.
• The That’s How The Cannonball Bounces award goes to Dylan Scheumann who bemoaned the fact that he “Dropped 200 places in one day”. Dylan is currently tied for 504th. Cheer up, Dylan. You’re going to Rose-Hulman next fall.
• The But You Wear Really Cool Shoes award goes to my youngest little girl, Ashlyn Little, who isn’t doing so well this year. Cheer up, Asho. You’ve got better shoes than most of the players left in the tournament.
• The Don’t Ask Me If That’s My PIzza Franchise award goes to Luca Zeoli for cracking the top ten at number 6. Luca will receive a free slice of Pepperoni.
• The Pardon Me, But Do You Have Any Grey Poupon award goes to 10th place contestant Dejan Davis. If you don’t get the joke, his friends call him Dijon. Of course having to explain the joke makes it less funny.
• The Don’t Call Me Billy award goes to Caleb “TheKid” Davis, currently in 13th.
• And finally, the There’s A New Sheriff In Town award goes to new contest leader AJ Spuches, who vaulted into first place on the strength of the Scategories bonus he earned for the Syracuse win. AJ has been hanging around the top of the leaderboard for the whole contest, never ranking lower than 21st so far.

Is AJ’s lead safe? Hardly. Supersized Scategories bonuses await those who picked Notre Dame or Syracuse to advance to the Final Four and/or the championship game…IF either can pull it off, of course. Even more significant, ANY national champion not named Kansas or North Carolina will earn a select few the rare and coveted Ultimate Scategories Bonus worth a whopping 96 points, and that would change everything.

Stay tuned for the weekend’s regional finals as we find out who the Final Four will be. Good luck!

The Wizard of Whiteland

Contest Homepage