Thursday Chalk Talk

“Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.” – Dave Berry

It’s All Chalk Thursday

No upsets, overtimes, or buzzer-beaters here, folks. In fact, tonight’s assortment of regional semifinals were barely competitive, ultimately resulting in the top two seeds from the South and West regions advancing according to Hoyle to the regional finals on Saturday.  It was almost as boring as fishing, but not nearly as disgusting. If you played it safe in the South or the West, you did well tonight.

  • Super Nova – Of all the games I half-watched tonight, Villanova looked the most dominant. Miami is by no means a bad team, but the Wildcats were never threatened. If I were Kansas, I’d be nervous.
  • ACC You Later – Much was made about six ACC teams advancing to the Sweet Sixteen.  Two played tonight. Both lost, and it wasn’t very close. To be fair, this Duke team was a bit of an overachiever if you ask me. The team overall is young, not very deep, and not very big, struggling on the defensive end.  Sure, Grayson Allen is good, but he gets the Sour Grapes award tonight for refusing to acknowledge the Oregon player who tried to be a good sport. We will see if the other four ACC representatives can fare better tomorrow night. None of them play each other; therefore, it is possible that all four could advance to the Elite Eight.
  • Buddy Hield for MOP? – First, I really like Buddy. If Oklahoma is going to make the Final Four, he will have to play like the superstar he is. But on another topic, why did anyone feel the need to replace MVP with MOP. Actually, I think this was instituted some time ago, but that doesn’t make it any less ridiculous. We can’t have the most valuable player, because equality, or something. So we have the Most Outstanding Player instead, not that he’s any more valuable, mind you. He’s just more outstanding. But what kind of a name is MOP for an award? C’mon, man! Next thing you know instead of a trophy they’ll be handing the kid a mop, a bucket, and a bottle of Pine Sol. “Congratulations, kid! Here’s your MOP.”
  • Who Pushed The Easy Button? – A whopping 140 contestants picked all four of today’s games correctly with original picks. Given that it was the 1-2 pick in both regions, perhaps that makes some sense.

Looking Ahead

Let’s hope tomorrow night’s offering of games is more watchable. On paper, at least, we have something to look forward to. Gonzaga will try to solve that infuriating Syracuse zone, which frankly is hard to do if you don’t see it often, and Gonzaga doesn’t. As I’ve noted before, the winner of this game is going to give a small number of folks a very hansom bucket of points in the contest.

Then there’s IU vs UNC, a game that should be no contest for the Tar Heels, but the way Indiana has been playing, you never know. If Indiana’s bigs can’t stay out of foul trouble, it will be a long night for the Hoosiers.

Finally, the high octane offenses of Iowa State and Notre Dame will square off against put-you-in-a-coma slowdown specialists Virginia and Wisconsin. If by some miracle Virginia and Wisconsin were both to advance to the Final Four, it might be the most excruciating national semifinal in tournament history.  Anyone ready for a 36-35 tour de force?

Quick Awards

  • The Least Popular Kid In School award goes to 19th place contestant Kassy “Haven’t watched a game all season” Morales. Believe me, Kassy, that’s NOT what the 797 people behind you in the standings want to hear.
  • The Asleep At The Wheel award goes to Nathan Gidley who has climbed all the way to 8th place and yet failed to get his re-picks in! With Michigan State and Kentucky still in his Final Four, the chances of him keeping his spot in the top 10 are not good.
  • The Nice Try award goes to Ethan “Can I re-pick my re-picks?” Grunden, currently tied for 371st.
  • The Your Stock Is Rising award, sponsored by Merrill Lynch, goes to John Berrey for clawing his way from 714th to 89th.
  • The Busted Bracket award goes to Elianna Grunden who has dropped from as high as 51st all the way to 680th.
  • The Just Call Me France award goes to the 315 contestants who surrendered quickly and didn’t make any re-picks.
  • The Wishful Thinking award goes to three contestants who took Syracuse to win it all with their original picks: Bob Johnson, Daniel Labbato, and Zachary Schaefer. If they actually pull that off, you three dudes will likely ended up 1, 2, and 3 in the final contest standings.
  • And finally, sticking with the boredom theme, the Yeah, Yeah, Yeah award goes to Ken Jordan and Braden Murray. They were first and second when the night started, and they are still first and second. This award is given in memory of Phil Mickelson who once interrupted Tiger Woods’ lengthy introduction on the first tee with “Yeah, yeah, yeah” as the announcer was going down the list of his victories.

That’s it for tonight, minions. Here’s hoping for more entertaining games tomorrow night.

Until next time,

The Wizard of Whiteland

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