Jayhawks’ Self Out-Smarted By VCU

The most impossibly unpredictable Elite Eight in a decade came to a dramatic conclusion today with the ouster of the last of this year’s four Kings, the mighty Kansas Jayhawks. I could hardly believe my eyes as the VCU Rams torched Kansas for an 18 point lead, and then held off every furious comeback attempt to dismiss the tournament’s final #1 seed by an apocryphal 10 points. VC Who? Southwest regional champs, that’s who. With the exception of a short stretch toward the beginning of the second half, this game was nearly a no-contest. Kansas did very little well and very little right. They were slow on defense. They didn’t cover the shooters. They couldn’t make free throws. They couldn’t throw the ball in the Rio Grande, for that matter. They shot 21 three-pointers and made TWO for less than 10%, and their two-point shooting percentage wasn’t much better. Shaka Smart said before the game his main concern with Florida State was figuring out how to score, but his main concern with Kansas was figuring out how to keep them from scoring. Mission accomplished. Get the big guys in foul trouble. Frustrate the guards into bombing contested threes. Incredible. With this win, VCU became just the third #11 seed to advance to the Final Four (LSU and George Mason are the other two).

Cat Scratch Fever

I’ll admit I did not watch the battle between Kentucky and North Carolina as closely due to other commitments this evening, but it is clear that Kentucky continued its unlikely dominance of strong programs in this year’s tournament. North Carolina made this one close, but only briefly, and the outcome was never really in question. Perhaps the most notable observation from this game is that it was the third out of the four regional finals won by the lower seeded team. With upset points a-plenty being distributed this afternoon, our standings have shuffled considerably. More on that in a moment.

By The Numbers

There may be too many “firsts” to count accurately in this year’s tournament:

• The sum of all the seeds in this year’s Final Four, 26, is the highest ever, surpassing the previous record of 22 set in 2000.
• Since team seeding began in 1979, this is the first time none of the top eight seeds (the 1’s and 2’s) have advanced to the Final Four.
• The VCU-Butler matchup is the highest seed total (19) ever in a national semifinal.
• The average number of upsets in the 60 games leading to the Final Four is 16.5. This year’s total was 20, meaning a full one-third of all games were won by the lower seed.

By natural extension, the craziness of this year’s tournament has led to some interesting consequences in the contest:

• 415 of the 514 contestants have already lost all remaining games, meaning they cannot score any more points in the contest. This includes both contestants currently in 1st and 2nd place.
• No one picked the Final Four correctly, with or without re-picks.
• Typically, huge Scategories bonuses for the three final games of the tournament are only available to long shot picks that don’t pan out. Not this year.
  In fact, VCU is the only national champion that would not give someone a 96-point Scategories bonus!
  • A Butler semifinal win is a Scategories bonus for 11 contestants worth 48 total points.
  • A Connecticut semifinal win is a Scategories bonus for 20 contestants worth 48 total points.
  • A Kentucky national championship is a Scategories bonus for 20 contestants worth 96 total points.
  • A Connecticut national championship is a Scategories bonus for 9 contestants worth 96 total points.
  • A Butler national championship is a Scategories bonus for 8 contestants worth 96 total points.

In short, the final standings are going to look very different than they do now, so stay tuned!

Elite Eight Awards

We’re coming to the point in the contest where the awards are very prestigious. If you’re receiving award consideration this far into the contest, you’re either doing something very right, or your ‘re doing something so wrong, it cannot be ignored.

• The Beast of the East award goes to Jim Bringham who was a perfect 15-0 in the East region with original picks.
• The Wild, Wild West award goes to Rick Morgan, Shane Vaiskauskas, and Marc Hazel for going a near-perfect 14-1 in the West region with original picks.
• The I Got Spurs, They Go Jingle, Jangle, Jingle award goes to Matthew Hand who went 13-2 in the very difficult Southwest region with original picks.
• The Smooth Jazz And Jumbalaya award goes to Ben McCann who was a perfect 15-0 in the Southeast region with original picks.
• The Upset Stomach award goes to contest leader Jane “Go Urbana” Gomez and Margaret Dean, who each picked 14 of the 20 upsets correctly. This certainly explains their positions at or near the top of the leader board.
• The Mark Twain award goes to the unflappable, unsinkable Jeff Cardwell, who has risen from near dead last – 512th – all the way to 35th! Rumors of his death have been greatly exaggerated.
• The No One Is Going To Believe THAT Line award goes to Jon “I let Amber win” Blair. Jon’s rank – 253. Amber Blair’s rank – 103.
• The You’re Still Number One In My Book award goes to my beloved youngster Ashlyn “Basketball Girl” Little, who climbed as high as 5th before suffering the same fate as most of the rest of us as the favored teams she picked all lost this weekend. Ashlyn was watching the women’s tournament on TV at the restaurant this afternoon and said, “I want to play in that some day.” I’ll go to every game.
• The Leader Of The Pack award goes to 11 contestants who can still win all three remaining games: Eric Shelton, Julia Harper, Janae Dailey, Beth Ann Fairchild, Jeffery Cardwell (son of the aforementioned Jeff Cardwell), Scott Whitlow, Lucas Drone, Jamie Fairchild, Allen Davidson, Christy Bowen, and Ben McCann.
• The You No Make-a The Game, You No Make-a The Rules award also goes to Ben McCann for doing what at least one contestant does every year without fail – suggest that he deserves a special bonus for some feat he considers exemplary. This year’s justification was going 15-0 in the Southeast region. Perfection is its own reward, Mr. McCann. Don’t get greedy.
• The Fear Factor Award For Most Revolting Alias goes to Sam “Brauen Droppings” Brauen. For the uninformed, Sam’s last name is a homophone with Brown. Ewwwwwww. Sam’s score, by the way, is equally revolting – 42 points, which is good enough for 511th place.
• The Go Home, Snoopy, Go Home award goes to my namesake, Jeff “Snoopy 24” Dahl, currently in 487th place.
• The Nice Shootin’, Tex award goes to Josh “SharpSHOOTER” Lewis, who shot his way to 4th place but won’t go any higher. He has no winnable games remaining.
• The Always A Bride’s Maid award goes to Greg “Wants a break for once” Schweizer who has been in 2nd place for most of the contest. He also has no winnable games remaining and, thus, will not climb any higher.
• The I Hope I Never Run Into You In A Medical Facility…Ever award goes to the catheter-slinging Wendy “Better Stick To Nursing School” Cooper who climbed as high as 3rd, is now in 10th, and also has no winnable games remaining.
• Finally, the Swan Song award goes to contest leader Jane “Go Urbana” Gomez. Jane has led the contest for several rounds but will not win. She has no winnable games remaining and pursuers close enough to beat her depending on the outcome of the final three games. Enjoy your one shining moment, Jane. You deserve it.

With that, the Wizard shall step behind the curtain for another week. Check back next weekend for the exciting conclusion of March Madness and our fun little contest. If anyone has a line on tickets to Houston, drop me a note.

Pay no attention to the miserable prognosticator behind the curtain.

The Wizard of Whiteland

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The Butler Did It…Again

Early this afternoon, I sent a text message to a few buddies from the church to see if they wanted to meet at the local Buffalo Wild Wings for some wings and basketball. I’m glad I went about 30 minutes before tip-off, because the place quickly filled up to standing room only. As the game wore down to its dramatic conclusion, it was absolute pandemonium in that place. It reminded me of those videos you see on YouTube where a bunch of folks are gathered somewhere watching a sporting event on TV and go ballistic when their team wins. At one point I was so stricken with the madness of the moment I exclaimed, “It’s Buffalo Bulldog Saturday!” The guys got a good laugh out of that one.

The Butler Bulldogs have certainly given the city of Indianapolis and the state of Indiana something to be proud of, a glorious addition to Indiana basketball lore. Last year’s Butler squad evoked comparisons to Hoosiers – a rag-tag band of journeymen and role players together with one soft spoken and extremely talented star defying all that is likely and sane, falling one basket short of the most magical of all endings. If that was last year’s Butler, what of this year’s? As they struggled through the Horizon League season, I am guessing that no one believed that they were anything more than a shadow of their former selves without Gordon Hayward. Yet here they are, back in the Final Four, bruised and backward, sometimes bumbling and befuddled, and yet not beaten.

An analysis of this game has to leave one wondering how Florida possibly could have lost. Their full court press was brilliant and effective. Their half-court defensive strategy was also the best I’ve seen so far against Butler in the tournament. They clogged up the middle with that zone, eliminating the effectiveness of Butler’s three man weave. They let Butler pass the ball around the perimeter and flew at the three point shooter with one of their long forwards, often tipping and almost always altering the shot. Butler was ice cold from the field, and equally lousy from the free throw line, while Florida didn’t miss a single free throw in regulation. Florida had double-digit leads in both halves. So how did they lose? One turning point, I believe, was when Macklin got his fourth foul with about 9 minutes left to play. This opened up the middle on some occasions for Butler and allowed them to get back in the game. It also seemed to take Florida away from the inside game on offense, where they were clearly dominant. Down one with the last shot opportunity in overtime, why does Florida’s Kenny Boynton take a 30-footer instead of working the ball inside for a go-ahead basket? I don’t know. All I can say is that it appears to me that this Butler team gets in your head. They bait you somehow into silly fouls, boneheaded decisions, and crucial errors at the worst possible time. They frustrate, they scrap, they hustle, and they never quit.

With the possible exception of VCU, no matter who the remaining two Final Four participants turn out to be, the Butler Bulldogs will be the least likely to win the championship. You look at them at say to yourself, “There’s just no way – against Kansas, or Kentucky, or North Carolina, or Kemba-Conn – there’s just no way.” But Butler finds a way, and as Seth Davis put it, “Every time you pick against Butler, you feel like you’re going to be wrong.” Last year’s Cinderella is nothing of the kind this year. They have entered the courts of basketball royalty and taken their seat at the table, and I can pretty much guarantee that among Calhoun, Calipari, Williams, Self, and Shaka, there’s not a one of them looking at these Bulldogs with disdain and asking, “Who invited you?” They belong, and I for one hope that they can finish what they left undone last year. What a storybook ending that would be.

And Then There Was That Other Game

And it was a pretty good, too. Arizona failed to deliver on what would have been a real fruit basket turnover in the contest standings, a 26-point victory for a handful of contestants eagerly awaiting a coveted Scategories bonus. Alas, it was not to be. Arizona superstar Derrick Williams got in early foul trouble, and at one point it seemed UConn would run away with this game. But these cats clawed their way back (sorry…I’m a sucker for a good pun. Ok, I’m a sucker for a bad pun.) I still don’t understand why they, as did Florida, insisted on taking two three point shots for the win at the end of regulation rather than sending Williams to the basket for a possible foul. Is that even the teams in the tournament have watched so much of it, with the dramatic game-winning three point baskets, that they think that’s the only option? We are all legends in our own mind, for sure, but are the coaches really calling these plays? Are they all having dreams like Morehead State coach Donnie Tyndall about certain players taking the big three and nailing it for the win at the buzzer? WAKE UP PEOPLE! There’s time on the clock. You’re down one or two. Extend the game. Get a good shot. But what do I know? I’m 214th in my own contest.

Random Musings

And now for a few things that have been bugging me all tournament:

• Anybody besides me had e-na-na-na-nough of Na-na-na-napa know how? The lip-synching mechanics are downright creepy, and the echoing customers are equally over the top, especially the mustachioed dude who looks like a fat Cheech Marin. The people who write these jingles have an uncanny knack for producing material that will never leave your brain, no matter how irritating. You’re walking down the cereal isle at Kroger muttering “Na-na-na-napa know how, Napa know how” under your breath, and the young mother in pajama pants, a t-shirt, and flip flops walking past you would think you were crazy if she weren’t singing it, too. We’re all being brainwashed, I tell you. Now give me six spark plugs and a quart of 5W-30 to go with my Frosted Flakes.
• How does the Florida Gator’s mascot move his gator mouth? I mean, really? How does that work? He has arms in the suit, so he doesn’t appear to be pulling strings or levers. Does the dude have jaws of steel or what? Oversized lips? Forked tongue? Are there two people in the suit? Remote controlled from the sidelines? You think I’m kidding, but I am not. This is really bothering me. If you know how this works, please email me.
• I know I’m treading dangerous ground, here, but some of these names of these players are terrifically unforgettable. UConn is a veritable who’s who of uniquely named individuals. Shabazz Napier, Kemba Walker, Alex Oriakhi, Charles Okwandu – is this a basketball team or the cast of the next Star Wars movie? “A long time ago, in a bracket far, far, away, Kemba Skywalker traveled to the distant world of Okwandu to rescue princess Napier. The princess had sent a distress message, pleading, ‘Help me Obi Wan Oriakhi. You’re my only hope!’ Now brave Skywalker must learn the power of the ancient Shabazz in order to rescue the princess and save the galaxy.” You know what I always say. “Let the Wookie win!”
• Don’t you wish you could solve all of life’s hassles by singing, “Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there”? Buffalo! Can I get a hot tub??!!!
• What exactly is a Jayhawk, anyway? Is there such a bird? For that matter, what’s a Tarheel? It sounds like something that would sideline you for 4-6 weeks. “Hey, what’s wrong with Tyler Zoeller? Oh, he’s out 4-6 six weeks with Tarheel.” Seriously, though, judging by the mascot, it appears to be some kind of pathetic goat. VCU’s Ram looks much more menacing…and realistic.
• Do highly paid professional athletes really eat Subway as part of their training regimen?

Awards

I’m only distributing a couple of quick awards this time. More awards will be forthcoming after Sunday’s games.

• The Wonder Woman award, sponsored by Amazon.com, goes to Christy “Warrior Mom” Bowen, who has risen from 317th all the way to 5th. Fear the golden lasso.
• The Better Luck Next Time award goes to Shawn Durnell, currently in last place. In fact, Shawn never made it higher than 436th, but looking over his picks, it is simply because he picked the normal, sane, fully-expected-to-win teams most of the time. There has been nothing sane, normal, or expected about this year’s tournament.
• The Rising Star award goes to Kim Harper, who has climbed from 483rd all the way up to 49th with four winnable games left.
• The Promises, Promises award goes to Matthew “Kansas is a LOCK to make the Final Four!” Hand. Matthew’s alias leaves one wondering why we should believe him, since his other three Final Four picks are Ohio State, Duke, and Florida. Matthew will receive a VCU team photo signed, “With many thanks, Shaka Smart”.

Check back Sunday night for the Round Four Wrap-Up.

The Wizard

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This Is Madness!

This…is…Spaarrrtaaaaaa! {Cough} Sorry, I got carried away, there. The Elite Eight is set, and five of the eight games were won by the lower seed. Half the remaining teams are seeded lower than three, and only one #1 seed remains. When was the last time the Final Four did not have a single #1 seed? It was the year 2000 with Michigan State, Florida, Wisconsin, and North Carolina. That year was truly unique in that both Wisconsin and North Carolina were #8 seeds. In the maddest of all possibilities, this year’s Final Four could have a #4 seed as its highest participant. I didn’t say it was likely. I said it was possible, and in a year of historic firsts, why not? Speaking of historic firsts, let’s get started with tonight’s rundown.

Shaka Da World!

Believe it or not, in the 26 years since the field was expanded to 64 teams (or more, I guess), this is the first time a 10 and an 11 seed have ever played one another. In terms of drama, this game was full of it, and thus, quite entertaining. On the other hand, this has to be one of the strangest games I’ve ever watched. We had Shaka Zulu and his band of warriors running and gunning and bombing three pointers. Then we had the Florida State Seminoles, warriors in their own right, playing tough defense and grabbing a ridiculous number of rebounds. Folks, check out this stat: FSU out-rebounded VCU 45-25! Conversely, FSU shot 36% from the field compared to VCU’s 46%. So, we had an offensive team that struggles to defend and rebound versus a defensive team that struggles to score, and did Florida State ever struggle to score. They had the final possession of the game not once, but twice, and didn’t just miss, but failed to even get a shot off. For that, the Florida State Seminoles get my annual Reggie Miller Memorial Choke Artist award for snatching defeat right out of the jaws of victory. Each Seminole will receive an autographed picture of Spike Lee and a commemorative New York Knicks jersey.

The Dark Knight Strikes Again

VCU’s victory over FSU was more like Cinderella slugging it out with the evil step-mother trying to recapture some semblance of former glory. Ohio State vs. Kentucky, on the other hand, was Clash of the Titans, perhaps the first real match-up of two high-profile programs from power conferences in this year’s tournament. Honestly, I’m still trying to figure out how Kentucky won this game, but here are what I see as a few keys to the victory:

• Liggins’ Leggin’s – Kentucky’s DeAndre Liggins and his Kentucky-blue, full-leg neoprene sleeves put up 15 points and a defensive presence that seemed to annoy the Buckeyes all night.
• Buford T. Justice – Ohio State’s William Buford was more like the inept sheriff from Smokey And The Bandit than a hero, shooting 3-19 and missing the game’s final shot. He was ice cold. Why Jon Diebler didn’t take the last shot is anybody’s guess, but it might have had something to do with…
• Whatsa Matta U – A good friend of mine and contest participant Brad Schafer observed that Buckeye coach Thad Matta should have worn a red sweater vest for playing Tressel-ball in the closing minutes of the game. Coaches at this level get paid a lot more than I do, and it’s easy to armchair quarterback with no horse in the race, but you have to wonder why Buford just kept shooting them out of the game while Diebler was uninvolved for most of the night.
• Good Knight, Brandon – Once again, Kentucky’s Brandon Knight was a relative non-factor for most of the game, until it counted the most, that is. Knight was 3-15 from the field when he buried the game winner and the Buckeyes in dramatic fashion similar to how he buried Princeton in the first round.
• Play That Funky Defense, White Boy! – Kentucky’s Josh Harrellson was an absolute load, scoring 17 points and harassing (and perhaps fouling) Jared Sullinger all night long.

Wake Me Up When It’s Over

That was my philosophy with the night’s first two games. Both blow outs, never competitive, I have very little to say about them, because, well, I caught up on some much needed sleep at the time. Suffice it to say that Kansas and North Carolina have established themselves among the favorites to advance to the Final Four.

Quick Hitters

• That Should Be Illegal – The Low Blow award goes the VCU player (I didn’t catch his number) who, as he was falling out of bounds, fired the ball with all his might off the Florida State defender at a point-blank range…right below the belt. Yowza! Call me soft, but if it isn’t against the rules, I think it’s bad manners to rocket the ball at your defenseless opponent’s nether region just to avoid a turnover. Honorable mention for this award goes to Kentucky’s Josh Harrellson who fired the ball at Jared Sullinger’s head in similar fashion. Come on, fellas. This is basketball, not dodge ball.
• Even And Odd – I know this is meaningless, but I can’t help but pick up on stuff like this. The East and Southeast regions’ remaining teams are both even-numbered seeds, while the West and Southwest’s are both odd. Draw your own conclusions.
• First Time For Everything – The History Maker award has to go to the VCU Rams. In the first year of the “First Four”, they are the first ever to advance to the Elite Eight by winning four games instead of the traditional three. They are the first 11 seed to ever play and defeat a 10 seed, foiling a Scategories Bonus for those who picked Florida State in the Elite Eight, I might add. Now, I’m ready to say there is no way VCU can beat Kansas, but bear this in mind. The four previous meetings of a #1 vs. a #11 in the regional finals have been split 50/50 between the two seeds. Come Sunday we will know if the slipper still fits.

Elite Eight Awards

Time for the Elite Eight awards sponsored by Super 8 Motels. We’ll keep the light on for you.

• The Reality Check award goes to Joanna “That’s how I roll” Labbato who was woofing it up on Facebook about her Kentucky and VCU picks. Joanna is 169th but very pleased to be beating the two men in her household.
• The VH-1 I Love The 80’s award goes to Mike White for his nostalgic reference to the 80’s classic TV show The Jeffersons on Facebook, where he pointed out that he had picked seven of the Elite Eight correctly and was “movin’ on up” to 104th place.
• The Pick Six award goes to two contestants who picked six of the Elite Eight correctly with original picks: Ben McCann and Rachelle Layman. Ben is in 20th while Rachelle is 52nd.
• The Lucky Seven award goes to seven contestants who picked seven of the Elite Eight, re-picks included: Mike White, Ken Schmidt, Aaron Drone, Daphne Allender, Ben McCann, Margaret Dean, and David Kincheloe.
• The Riddle Me This, Batman award goes to Brian “What’s gray and green and red all over?” Gerlach. Ooh, ooh. I know! Your bracket! What do I win?
• The Worthless Nut award goes to the the 358 of us (yes, I said “us”) who picked Ohio State to go to the Final Four.
• The Don’t Count Your Chickens just yet award goes to continuing contest leader Jane Gomez. This year’s contest is completely unique due to the number of unlikely teams remaining in the Elite Eight. I just checked the Possible Scategories Bonuses report, and six of the eight remaining teams are Scategories picks for the National Championship. That means that only Kansas and VCU are championship picks worth a mere 32 points. Every other team is worth the Ultimate Scategories Bonus of 96 points for a few lucky contestants! Jane went with the chalk and picked Kansas, and if Kansas indeed takes the championship, she is likely to win the contest. Any other winner, however, and who knows who will win the contest. So if you picked Kentucky, North Carolina, Arizona, Connecticut, Butler, or Florida to win it all with your original pick, you still have a shot of a very high finish, if not an outright contest victory.

Now I’m going to go sleep until the Butler game tips off at 4:20 PM. All texts, tweets, and Facebook taunts will be summarily ignored until that time.

The Wizard of Whiteland

Important Contest Note

My web hosting provider has notified me that they are relocating my account to their new data center sometime overnight on March 26th-27th. It is possible, then, that contest updates will be delayed after Saturday’s games, depending on the availability of the service. This is beyond my control. I apologize in advance if it causes anyone contest-withdrawal.

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Oh, The Humanity!

Historically, the average number of upsets in the entire third round is two. We had three tonight, and there are still four games left in this year’s third round! No contestants picked all four games correctly tonight with original picks. (Including re-picks, seven contestants went 4-0 tonight.)

There Is No “I” In Team

There is no “D” in Jimmer, either, but there sure is a “me”. Jimmer took 44 shots tonight. That means he had 12 more shots than points. Yeah, he’s good, but he never saw a shot he didn’t like, and he never saw an opponent he thought it was his responsibility to guard. The only difference between Jimmer and a real matador is the red cape and funny hat. The talk of him making it in the NBA fails to take into account that he is an enormous defensive liability.

Jimmer’s gun-slinging wasn’t the half of it in this game, however. The two teams combined for an incredible tournament record 71 3-point shot attempts! 71. 3-pointers. In one game. That is more than all the 3-point shots attempted in the Duke-Arizona and UConn-SDS games combined.

Picked San Diego State? You Got Conned!

Kemba “Use the force, Sky” Walker channeled his inner Jimmer with 36 points as UConn continues to march toward the Final Four. Perhaps the most memorable moment of this game was the Boneheaded Play Of The Day when San Diego State’s Jamaal Franklin shoulder blocked Kemba Walker on the way to the sideline during a timeout. This was right after a made basket that put SDS up four points. Technical foul. Two free throws. Change of momentum. Nice. I went away from this game to watch the BYU-Florida overtime, but I heard on Sports Center that Chris Weber was spotted in the crowd calling for a timeout for San Diego State toward the end of the game when they had none remaining.

Coach K Gets KOed

Where in the world did these Arizona Wildcats come from? Derrick Williams had 32 as Arizona incredibly blew Duke out of the gym. The second #1 seed goes up in smoke, and with them, 306 contestants lost their Final Four pick from the West. There will be no rematch of last year’s championship game, but it won’t be because Butler can’t get there.

Hayward, Schmayward

Bryson Davis may “miss Gordon Hayward”, but these Dogs look every bit as good without him. Jamie Prime asks “This isn’t the Frozen Four,” an allusion to the NCAA’s hockey tournament. Five minutes into the game with the score 5-3, this was more like a hockey game where basketball finally broke out. The last 10 minutes aside, when Butler insisted on making it interesting, Butler continued to play their bruising style of defense, completely neutralizing Wisconsin’s stars Jordan Taylor and Jon Leuer, the latter finishing with more fouls than points. Andrew Smith gets the Larry Bird award for coming out of the locker room and back onto the floor after writhing on the floor in agony minutes earlier from an ankle injury. I personally hope that Seth Davis and the rest of the geniuses on TNT keep their mantra going.

• Round 1: “Butler has a shot, but Old Dominion should win this game.”
• Round 2: “Butler is good, of course, but Pittsburgh should be too much for them.”
• Round 3: “Butler is an interesting match up, but ultimately, Wisconsin’s size should be the difference in the game.”
• Round 4: “It feels like if you pick against Butler, you’re going to be wrong, but Florida played great tonight, too. They’re balanced and big and should be too much for Butler, especially with Andrew Smith hurting.”

Yeah, and MTV still plays music.

Top 10 Aliases

I was looking through the updated aliases as the games are getting ready to start this evening, and I couldn’t resist giving a quick Top 10 list in the spirit of Indiana’s own David Letterman.

1. Shari “Mad Dog’s Mama” Rohyans – I love that little Mad Dog! (Inside joke.)
2. Jim “not the one from Muncie” Davis – Gimme a slice of lasagna, Odie!
3. Brian “VC Who?” Gerlach – Very Capable of Upsetting U, that’s who!
4. Brent “Goin” Bolin – Might as well, cuz you ain’t goin dancin!
5. Brad “Despair, thy name is Mrs. Wizard…” Schafer – Brad has an inferiority complex due to multiple consecutive years of getting thumped by my wife, Heather Little.
6. Robert “In Texas drawl, count to 5 takes 5 secs” Tipton – Yeah, but how long does it take away from Cameron Indoor?
7. Jason “Drinking Ginge” Roehl – It’s not too sweet. I repeat, it’s not too sweet. Sing it with me!
8. Dennis “apparently not so menacing” Livingston – Tied for 285th. Mr. Wilson can sleep well tonight.
9. Trevis “Kiddest Thou Me, Good Elmore?” – Gus Johnson does Shakespeare. I love it!
10. Elliott “I give Dilemmas, You make Dilemmanade” Murray – 445th and still with a positive attitude!

Quick Awards

It’s hard to be witty at 1:40 AM. It’s even harder to be magnanimous. Thus, tonight’s awards will all be of the “Razzies” variety.

• The Hit The Skids award goes to annual contestant Skid Booles who plummeted from 22nd to 276th.
• The I Am So Sick Of Seeing Your Name At The Top Of The Standings award goes to another annual kid contestant Olivia Klinker. From 477th all the way up to 15th. They rebuilt the courses because of Tiger Woods. I am about ready to revamp the contest just to keep Olivia in the bottom half.
• The Anal retentive award goes to Jason “Mac” Snyder who emailed me just to make certain my score-tallying code that I’ve had in place for 10 years didn’t cheat him out of 15 points. I’m a PC, and I know how to do the math!
• The Mercy Is For Da Weak, Da Enemy Deserve No Mercy award, presented in honor of the late Pat Morita, goes to Zach Richardson who sent me a text message at 6:02 PM complaining about the accuracy of my web server’s system clock. And speaking of Mr. Miyagi…
• The You Beginner Luck award goes to contest rookie Jane “Go Urbana” Gomez, who has spent the entire contest so far in the top eight, and is distancing herself from the rest of the field. First of all, Jane’s alias smacks of hypocrisy. She didn’t even pick Illinois to win a single game. Secondly, she took Arizona and Florida on re-picks, which wouldn’t have happened had I conveniently not had time to respond to her email at 3:30 PM today asking to have her password reset. Blast my integrity.

And with that I sign off until tomorrow’s edition of the commentary, brought to you by Rebecca Black. It’s gonna be fun, fun, fun, fun, lookin’ forward to the weekend!

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Reports And Standings

The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

The Sweet 16 is settled. In the spirit of ESPN’s Mike & Mike In The Morning, I would like to offer the 2011 Jeff’s March Madness Contest version of the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The Good

• Ohio State – Guess what. George Mason is not this year’s George Mason. What the Buckeye’s did to them today ought to be illegal. Total beat down does not begin to describe their 32-point victory. It will be interesting to see if this trend continues in the next round when OSU faces stronger competition for the first time in the tournament.
• Kansas – Yawn. The Jayhawks never really allowed Illinois to make a game of it. Kansas looks like a legitimate contender.
• Duke vs. Michigan – This was a very entertaining, down-to-the-wire contest in which Duke escaped again as their underdog opponent launched a last-second shot to win the game…that missed. To say that Duke looks vulnerable against a team that started 1-7 in the Big 10 this year is an understatement.
• The West Region – The West region came closest to coming in according to Hoyle, advancing the 1, 2, 3, and 5 seeds to the Sweet 16. Fourth-seeded Texas lost a close one to fifth-seeded Arizona in yet another wild finish.
• Conferences – ACC: 6-1; Mountain West: 4-1; Pac 10: 4-2.
• Double Digit Seeds – One fourth of the Sweet 16 is occupied by double-digit seeds: #10 Florida State, #11 Marquette, #11 VCU, and #12 Richmond.

The Bad

• Over-and-back Call Against Syracuse – With the scored tied at 59 and 52 seconds to play, Syracuse inbounds the ball in the front court to Scoop Jardine. Scoop jumps in the air, catches the ball, and lands with one foot on the half court line. The referee called a back court violation, which turned the ball over to Marquette. Marquette hit what turned out to be the game-winning three-pointer on the next possession. Was this the right call. One alert blogger posted the actual rule (4.3.8), which says, “After a jump ball or during a throw-in, the player in his front court, who makes the initial touch on the ball while both feet are off the playing court, may be the first to secure of the ball and land with one or both feet in the back court. It makes no difference if the first foot down was in the front court or back court.” This should have been a play on, and it can be argued that it cost Syracuse the game.
• Indiana Teams – Four teams from Indiana entered the tournament. After round one, three remained, but only Butler survived to the Sweet 16. Notre Dame and Purdue both failed to show up today. More on that in a moment.
• #5 Seeds – Only two won in the first round, and only one survived to the Sweet 16, and they (Arizona) just barely.
• Conferences – Big 12: 4-4; Big East: 8-8 (Ok, .500 is not necessarily “bad”. This is a judgment relative to other conferences and expectations.)

The Ugly

• Purdue – Never has the acronym “PU” been more appropriate to describe the Boilermaker squad. They were not beaten. They were run over by VCU. It was never close. It was never competitive. It was never interesting. This game left 56 of us wondering what in the world possessed us to pick this team for the Final Four.
• Domers – There may be no place like dome, but in Notre Dame’s contest with Florida State, there was no Dome in the place at all. Much like the Purdue game, Notre Dame was never competitive. Notre Dame joins Pittsburgh in the dubious honor of being the first among their seeding level (#2) to go home.
• The Southwest Region – The Region Difficulty Report (on the Reports and Standings page) reveals that the contest is under .500 in picking this region, and no wonder. The four Sweet 16 representatives in this region are the 1, 10, 11, and 12 seeds. This guarantees at least one double-digit seed in this year’s Elite Eight.
• Mascots – Bears: 1-4; Military: 1-4.

Quick Hits

• Close Shaves – 18 of the 32 games played so far have been decided by 5 points or less or in over time.
• Double Trouble – The four double-digit seeds that advanced to the Sweet 16 is tied for the most ever (the other occurrence was 1999). This is the first time a single region has ever advanced three double-digit seeds.
• First Time Ever – When Florida State plays VCU in the Southwest region semifinal, it will be the first time ever a #10 has played a #11.
• Upsets – This year’s second round featured five upsets as defined by our contest (lower seed winning): Marquette, Arizona, Butler, Florida State, and VCU. (Richmond, though a 12 seed, was not an upset, as they faced #13 Morehead State). It turns out that, historically, the average number of upsets in the second rounds is (you guessed it) five.

Contest Standings Shake-up

Today’s games gave us our first Scategories Bonus of the contest as eleven brilliant contestants received big points for their VCU pick. Just to demonstrate how significant this bonus is, here is a rundown of how far each contestant jumped in the standings right after this game was final.

• Christopher Randazzo – 75th to 6th
• Matthew Hand – 115th to 9th
• Pat Donahue – T188th to 11th
• Eugene Clark – T122nd to 12th
• Karen Deaver – 170th to 18th
• J.R. Shrader – 217th to 34th
• Jason Snyder – 263rd to 43rd
• Tyler Drone – 327th to 65th
• Cyrus Schafer – 431st to 140th
• Carmen Quint – 440th to 155th

There are more Scategories bonuses out there to be hand, and several are quite possible given the way this year’s tournament has shaken out. Check out the Possible Scategories Bonuses report on the Reports and Standings Page to see if one of your picks qualified.

Round Two Awards

The re-pick round starts today, but before I give important details about the re-picks, here are the round two awards.

• The My Dad Can Jump Higher Than Your Dad award for one upmanship goes to Matthew Hand who reported via his alias that he spent one more minute on his bracket than Kasiah Hand. Not to be outdone, Jonathan Hand reported he spent three hours on his. Do I hear three days? Anyone? Anyone?
• The Sweet Tooth award, sponsored by Crest toothpaste, goes to the two contestants who picked the highest number of Sweet 16 teams correctly. This year the number is 12, and the contestants are Mike Brown and Blake Dieringer.
• The Detroit Lions Award For Utter Futility goes to Lucas Drone, who went a perfect 0-16 in the second round. The good news for Lucas is that he has the luxury of re-picking all remaining 15 games without having to worry about second guessing himself. (Incredibly, Lucas is not dead last in the standings.)
• The Upset Stomach award, sponsored by Pepto Bismol, also goes to Matthew Hand, who has scored more upset bonus points than anyone else at 59.
• The Top Prognosticator award goes to the contestant who has picked the most games correctly so far overall. That would be Tará Wynn who is 39-9 and in 23rd place.
• The Biggest Loser award goes to Phil Huneck who has dropped from a high of 10th place to a low of 233rd.
• The Rising Star award goes to Liam Donahue who has climbed from a low of 481st to 74th.
• The Julius Caesar award goes to Chris “The Last Emperor” Rose, who has impressively climbed all the way to 8th place from a low of 319th.
• The Alanis Morissette Award For Irritating Irony goes to Scott “63 Guesses” Moore who is currently in 63rd place, of course.
• The Asked And Answered award goes to Zach “Why not Notre Dame?” Richardson. Zach’s rank is 118th.
• Finally, the Yellow Jersey award goes to our round two contest leader, Jane “Go Urbana” Gomez. Jane is seven points ahead of second place contestant Matthew Hand and just 12 points ahead of 10th place contestant J.R. Shrader.

Re-Pick Round Begins Today

It is now time for a very important aspect of the contest that seems to confuse some folks every year. Detailed re-pick instructions can be found at the top of the Enter Your Picks page found here. Let me highlight some points here that are the most frequent points of confusion.

1. The first step in entering your re-picks is to go to YOUR PICKS PAGE. This means you go to the View & Search Contestants Picks page, find your picks either in the list or by using the search tool, and clicking the appropriate link.
2. You cannot re-pick any of the 48 games that have already been played. Those games are over.
3. You can re-pick any of the remaining 15 games you wish, whether your original pick has already lost or not.
4. Here is the most frequent point of confusion. For the next four days, until 6:00 PM on Thursday, when you go to your picks page, the 16 teams that actually advanced to the Sweet 16 will show up in EVERYONE’S grid. This is so that you can re-pick whomever you want for the remaining 15 games. However, the red/green color codes will still correspond to your ACTUAL picks. Please do not email me and say, “Hey, my bracket shows that I picked Richmond in the Sweet 16, but it’s showing up in red. My score is wrong!” No, it isn’t. You did NOT pick Richmond. The fact that the box is red indicates you picked someone else. Richmond is in the box because they actually won. If you are still confused, email me, and I’ll be glad to answer any questions you have.
5. The re-pick deadline is 6:00 PM EDT, Thursday, March 24th.
6. You can change your re-picks as much as you want between now and Thursday. If you change an original pick, and then change it back before the deadline, it WILL still be considered an original pick for scoring purposes.

Re-pick Advice

Here are a few tips to consider as you are re-picking.

1. You should absolutely re-pick all remaining games that show up in red on your bracket. Any teams that you have in the Elite Eight or beyond that have already lost cannot score you any more points. It is better to re-pick a team that is still in it and have a chance to score 75% of the point value than to have no chance to score any points at all.
2. You can re-pick a game where your original pick is still alive in the tournament if you want. Just remember, re-picks are only worth 75% of the normal point value for a game, and re-picks cannot qualify for a scategories bonus. Re-picks are eligible for upset bonuses. Why would you want to re-pick a game where your original pick is still alive? Well, if you think given their matchup they have no chance of winning, re-picking and scoring 75% of the points is better than getting zero for a loss. It’s a tough decision, I know. I designed it that way!
3. A few trends you might want to consider while re-picking:
   • A 12 seed has never beaten a 1 seed in 17 tries.
   • An 11 seed has beaten a 2 seed only once in 9 tries.
   • A 10 seed has never beaten a 1 seed in a regional final in 4 tries.
   • However, in the 4 times an 11 seed has faced a 1 seed in the regional final, the decision has been split 50/50.
   • In 5 games featuring an 8 vs. a 4, the 8 seed has actually won 3 out of the 5.
   • In 4 regional finals featuring an 8 vs. a 3 or 2, the 8 seed has won only once.

The Madness Returns

Following an afternoon of fairly predictable and relatively unexciting games, the madness returned in the evening session.

The Butler Did It Again

“The slipper still fits!” Gus Johnson roars in CBS’s stock promotional trailer for March Madness, and when it comes to teams that simply should not be able to win but find a way to do so, none is more apropos than the Butler Bulldogs. I have been watching this tournament for the better part of 30 years, since I was a young boy, and I have never, EVER, seen a game end the way tonight’s game between Butler and top-seeded Pittsburgh did. After making the go-ahead basket with about two seconds to play, Butler star Shelvin Mack earned the Boneheaded Play of the Day award by fouling Pittsburgh star Gilbert Brown 45 feet from the basket. An 80+ percent free throw shooter, it was a near certainty that Brown would sink both free throws and the Bulldogs with 1.4 seconds to play. After making the first to tie the game, Brown inconveniently missed the second, and Butler’s Matt Howard grabbed the rebound and attempted to heave it toward the other end. That’s when Pittsburgh’s Nasir Robinson earned the Boneheaded Play of the Decade award by fouling Howard on the heave. With 0.8 seconds left, Howard made the first free throw and then missed the second on purpose, sealing the most improbable 71-70 victory of my lifetime. Yes, I remember Christian Laettner’s 1992 miracle, but that was Duke. This is Butler, the little engine that could. While I fully expected Pittsburgh to choke prior to the final four, I honestly gave Butler no chance in this game. Incredible.

Survive And Advance

That’s what second-seeded San Diego State did tonight in a double-overtime victory over the pesky Temple Owls. Keep in mind that before this past Thursday, San Diego State had never won an NCAA tournament game. Tonight the weight of high expectations that go with a #2 seed were clearly weighing heavily upon them, as the more the game wore on, the tighter they became. When this game was over, I felt it would be an accurate assessment to say that the team that made more stupid mistakes lost. UConn is going to be a big challenge for San Diego State in the Sweet 16.

This Means War

The badger is a ferocious little critter, and I can’t think of a word that more aptly describes the Wisconsin Badgers’ style of play. Mike Bruesewitz is playing most of the game on one good leg. Jon Leuer is bleeding from the head. Kansas State Coach Frank Martin is staring holes through everyone. The elbows are flying. The body count is rising. Yet somehow those pesky Badgers find a way to win. I am utterly shocked they scored 70 points in doing so. I am convinced Wisconsin’s typical MO is to bore their opponent to death. They certainly bore me to death. (As evidence, I offer a certain nefarious photo of me being circulated on Facebook, but more on that later.)

I’m A Believer Now

I had picked one upset among today’s eight games, but Butler wasn’t it. I will admit that I was not prepared to join the Kemba Walker fan club and write in UConn as the de-facto Duke challenger for the West region’s representative in the Final Four. I had Cincinnati taking them out in this round, but Walker would have none of it. I don’t know that UConn can get past Duke, but I think I would take them against just about anyone else…except Butler, of course.

Star Power

The theme of today’s games was superlative individual performances by many teams’ superstars. Today’s hall of fame includes:

• Pullen The Trigger – Kansas State’s Jacob Pullen had 38 points in a losing effort against Wisconsin.
• You Got Jimmered – BYU’s Jimmer Fredette scored 34 points in their shellacking of Gonzaga.
• Shelvin Mack Attack – Butler’s Shelvin Mack scored 30 points, including seven 3-point baskets, in Butler’s dispatching of the tournament’s first #1 seed.
• A Knight’s Tale – Kentucky’s Brandon Knight scored 30 points in Kentucky’s victory over West Virginia in the Hillbilly Hoedown Throwdown.

What’s Hot And What’s Not

An annual tradition in my March Madness commentary is a rundown of the hip and the horrible in the tournament viewing experience. What follows are this year’s winners and losers.

What’s Hot

• Blocked Shots – I don’t have the time or energy to do the research, but there seems to be a preponderance of blocked shots in this year’s tournament, especially blocked shots of the bone crushing, ball deflating, howl inducing variety. Morehead State’s Kenneth Faried had one block so ferocious, I was certain he had killed the shooter.
• LeBron James and Dwight Howard McDonald’s Commercial – It’s a remake of a classic. In 1993, Larry Bird and Michael Jordan appeared in a commercial for McDonald’s in which they played a game of horse, the prize being Jordan’s lunch from McDonald’s. Bird is best remembered for his line, “And no dunking,” as the contest begins. For the younger contestants among us, when you hear someone say, “Off the wall, under the table, nothin’ but net,” it’s an allusion to this commercial. In this year’s remake, Howard tells LeBron, “No jump shots,” an obvious dig at Larry Legend’s aversion to dunking. After a few circus dunks concluding with Howard’s backboard-shattering finale, the camera cuts to Bird clapping his hands in the empty gym. “Great show, guys,” Larry quips, “And thanks for lunch.” As Larry wads up the McDonald’s bag and eats the last fry, a confused Howard asks, “Who’s dat?” “I have no idea,” LeBron deadpans. “He’s taking our lunch, though,” Howard complains as the spot cuts to music. Priceless.
• Dreadlocks & Tattoos – With the notable exception of the Belmont Bruins (as pointed out by TNT analyst Reggie Miller), today’s typical collegiate athlete scores more tatts than points, and the rubber-banded bundle of dreads seems to have replaced corn rows and afros as the African American hairstyle of choice. As a matter of preference (and all things of this ilk are exactly that – a matter of personal preference), I dig the dreads. The tatts? Not so much.
• Neoprene Sleeves – Those of you who are old enough might remember a time in the early 80’s when the Oakland Raiders’ Lester Hayes used so much Stickum that the NFL decided to ban it. Stickum was a substance used to improve a player’s grip, much in the same way today’s high-tech gloves purportedly do. The thing about Hayes was that he didn’t just put the Stickum on his hands. He had it on his elbows, his knees, his shins, and his helmet. I have yet to see anyone catch a ball with any of those body parts (New York Giants’ receiver David Tyree being the possible exception), but I guess you never know. I am wondering if the NCAA and/or the NBA are going to be forced to make a similar move with regards to the ubiquitous neoprene sleeve. First made “famous” by Allen Iverson, I believe, they are now worn by such NBA notables as Dwight Howard, and are showing up on more and more collegiate players, and on more and more of their limbs. When I heard the announcer call the name of Kentucky’s DeAndre Liggins, I thought at first that he was referring to his “Leggin’s”, the two neoprene sleeves he wore on each leg, in addition to the ones on his arms. In fact, thanks to Liggins’ Leggin’s, not one inch of skin was visible other than his head and hands. Is this really necessary? What purpose do these things serve? Perhaps it is to cover up one’s tattoos.
• Gus Johnson & Len Elmore – I know I say it every year. I mean it every year. These guys are the best broadcasting duo in all of sports. Gus’ excitement coupled with Len’s insight and wit are simply sublime.Vern Lundquist & Bill Raftery aren’t too shabby, either. This leads me to ask why, oh why, must we endure the likes of Jim Nantz for the Final Four? This makes no sense. It’s the quintessential Peter Principle in action.

What’s Not

• Free Throws – A surprising number of games so far have featured an even more surprising dearth of free throw attempts. I don’t know if this is because the referees are just “lettin’ ’em play” or more teams are bombing long range jumpers than ever before. Michigan became the first team in tournament history to win a game (by 30 points, no less) without making a single free throw. In my opinion, for those free throws that are attempted, the rate at which they are made continues to decline.
• The CEO Of Sprint Giving Us An English Lesson – The commercial in which Sprint’s CEO drones on in an irritating monotone about a word he looked up in the dictionary does not motivate me to switch carriers.
• Bad Camera Angles – The robotic camera on top of the basket is cool when used judiciously. Cutting to that camera angle for a full half court possession…at the other end of the court…is not judicious. I watch the games on TV instead of paying money for the lousy seats behind the basket. Someone needs to inform the director in the truck.
• Charles Barkley – Don’t get me wrong. As a person, I find Sir Charles very entertaining. As a commentator, he’s…well…he’s just turrible.
• Spandex Full Body Suits – Ok, this is one that I simply do not get. We see them in every crowd shot, the young men decked out from head to toe in what can best be described as a giant pair of panty hose. These suits typically come in the fan’s team’s color and covers everything – eyes, nose, mouth, ears, all of it. Now, years ago, I was asked to dress up as the eagle mascot for our church’s summer VBS, an experience so traumatic I cringe to recall it. While this costume had the eagle’s head, feet, and torso, it did not include “legs”. Thus, I was asked to put on panty hose, I suppose because eagles do not have white man legs. I remember as a 14-year-old adolescent how difficult it was to put on those panty hose. “What sadistic criminal invented these things?” I remember asking myself. I am certain you ladies are thinking, “You don’t know the half of it.” I have three daughters and have certainly spent my share of Sunday mornings trying to assist the little princesses in getting into their nylon straight jackets. All of this leads me to ask, “What in the world would possess a person to put on a full-bodied version of panty hose?” I mean, how long does it take to get that thing on? And how do you get in it, exactly? Is there a hole? A zipper? How many people does it require to complete the task? And what do you do if you get hungry? Or thirsty? What if you have to go to the bathroom? No, folks, I simply do not understand spandex man. This is a fad that cannot go away soon enough.

Day Three Awards

CBS and the NCAA have me all confused by calling round one, round two, and round two, round three, to the point where I have given up altogether. So, we will call today’s awards simply the “Day Three Awards,” unless of course you count the play-in games as actually tournament days, in which case these would be the “Day Five Awards”. Whatever.

• The Paparazzi award goes to Heather Little, who snapped and published a nefarious and completely unauthorized photo of the contest manager. An investigation has been launched into how the photo was obtained. Charges will be filed. The contest manager emphatically denies any and all rumors that he ever sleeps, especially during basketball games. That’s my official statement. I will not be taking any questions.
• The Prozac award, sponsored by Eli Lilly & Company, goes to Jeffery “My Bracket Is Depressing” Cardwell. One can understand Jeffery’s state of mind, seeing he is 384th place. There is reason for good cheer, though, Jeffery. You are still beating your father!
• The Don’t Worry, Be Happy award goes to Patty “I’m not having any fun” Brown, my beloved Aunt. Patty is tied for 487th, but actually has picked quite a few games right. Cheer up, Patty. Golf season approaches.
• The Biggest Loser award, sponsored by Slim Fast, goes to Mary Jo Harper, who dropped from 91st to 431st. Hang in there, Mary Jo.
• The Buzz Lightyear To Infinity And Beyond award goes to Gabriel Geistwhite who has climbed from 498th to 78th. That’s not flying. It’s falling with style.
• The Candy Man Can’t, Apparently award goes to William “The Candy Man” Harper, currently in dead last. The re-pick round approaches.
• The Perfect 7, Perfect 10 award goes to the ten contestants who picked seven out of today’s eight games correctly (no one picked all eight): Andrea Little, Tom Lannan, Maegan Neely, Ben McCann, Julie Harman, Mike Brown, Neysa Lei, Phil Donahue, Blake Dieringer, and Ben Watkins.
• The Cinderella Story award goes to the 90 homers in the contest who picked Butler to win. Your names will not be listed. You know who you are. Yes, I’m bitter.
• Finally, the Pole Position award goes to the current contest leader Big Ben Hodson, who returns to the lead after relinquishing it for a brief stint. It should be noted that the difference between first and 10th place is a mere 10 points, so it is way too early to celebrate.

With that, I’m off to get some sleep. No pictures, please.

The Wizard of Whiteland

Contest Home Page

Round One By The Numbers

I graduated from Rose-Hulman in 1993 with a B.S. in Computer Science and Mathematics. I use that as an excuse for my compulsion to analyze each year’s tournament in light of historical statistical trends. Since upsets are so pivotal in our contest, I am most interested in statistics relating to those.

So, did we have “a lot” of first round upsets this year? Going by our contest’s strict definition of an upset being any game where the lower seed wins, the average number of upsets in the first round since the field expanded to 64 teams in 1984 is exactly 8. This year there were 7 upsets. Thus, this year was about average in terms of the number of first round upsets. Interestingly, it turns out that the average number of first round upsets picked per entry in our contest was 8.2.

Incidentally, you might be tempted to think that with only seven upsets you would have been better off just picking all the favorites to win. One contestant, Caleb Davis, did exactly that. He is currently tied for 427th!

Here are some interesting observations about the make-up of this year’s upsets:

• The underdog winners included one 9, one 10, three 11’s, one 12, and one 13.
• The upsets were not evenly distributed among the tournaments four regions. The West had no upsets at all. The East and Southeast each had one. The remaining five upsets all happened in the Southwest region. Put another way, that means only three favorites won in the Southwest region: Kansas, Purdue, and Notre Dame.
• Three 6’s lost. Not only did they lose. They lost badly. Should we expect anything different from 6-6-6?
  • Xavier – I guess X doesn’t mark the spot.
  • Georgetown – Had I realized they had not won a game in over a month, I would have picked differently.
  • St. John’s – The experts said they didn’t match up well with Gonzaga. The experts were right.
• Historically, 14 seeds win about one game in seven. We had no 14 seed winners this year, and it turns out this was expected. Last year, 14 seed Ohio defeated Georgetown in the first round. The best showing of a 14 seed this year was Wofford’s 8 point loss to BYU.

Scategoria

Speaking of upsets, this year’s contest has yielded some interesting opportunities for Scategories Bonuses in the second round. While nothing is impossible, I do not see the 1 seeds being vulnerable in the second round this year, and so I do not see much chance of Scategories bonuses being awarded for Illinois, Michigan, or George Mason. For those who picked Morehead St to win a second time, however, the odds are very favorable because they play #12 Richmond. The truly compelling and potentially lucrative Scategories bonus is VCU vs. Purdue. Should VCU win that game, a few bold contestants would score 14 points for that one game.

Grab Bag

And now for a few totally random bits of minutiae.

• All of the Tigers have been eliminated from this year’s field: Princeton, Memphis, Missouri, and Clemson.
• “Can anything good come from Nazareth?” I don’t know if he is any good, but UNLV freshman guard Karam Mashour comes from exactly that locale – Nazareth, Israel. Shalom.
• Did anyone catch Syracuse’s Rick Jackson smiling intentionally for the handheld camera under the basket as he was waiting to receive the ball for a free throw? Priceless.
• Another great quip from Len Elmore: “Xavier, the Musketeers, must be wondering when D’Artagnan is coming, ‘cuz it’s almost too late for them.”
• North Carolina and Long Island combined to score 189 points, the most of any game in the first round.
• Is it just me, or has this been the year of the blocked shot? Texas’ Tristan Thompson had 7 blocked shots in their win over Oakland. The tournament single-game record is 12 set by Shaq in 1992.

Round One Awards

And now without further ado, it is time for this year’s first round awards.

• The Looking On The Bright Side award goes to Sunchin “No longer at the bottom” Litherland, who has, indeed, climbed out of the cellar and into 384th place.
• The If Ignorance Is Bliss, Apathy Is Cathartic award goes to Angie “it’s a good thing I don’t care” Davis who is currently tied for 388th.
• The I Hate This Stupid Scoring System award goes to the aforementioned Caleb Davis, whose record is a respectable 25-7, but whose points are only good enough for a tie for 427th.
• The Please Give Me An Award award goes to my thirteen-year-old daughter, Andrea Little, who asked for one today. She’s my kid. It’s my contest. Deal with it.
• The You Asked For It, You Got It award, sponsored by Toyota, goes to Greg “Wants A Break For Once” Schweizer. I’m not sure what exactly Greg is looking for, but he is in 5th place with 53 points.
• The Time Well Spent award goes to Kasiah “Spent 5 minutes on this bracket” Hand, currently in 10th place.
• The Hey, That’s MY Line! award goes to Richard Schrimpf, who seems to have appropriated for himself my favorite refrain, “Winner! Winner!, Chicken Dinner!“
• The Lucky Seven award goes (ironically) to the six contestants who picked all seven upsets correctly: Matthew Hand, Kasiah Hand, Dave Barndt, Jane Gomez, Leon Sinoff, and Paul Smith.
• The Forget The Drawl, Respect The Picks award goes to Romona “Respect the Drawl, Y’all!” Wicht, currently in 41st place and only 12 points behind the leader.
• The Look Out Below! award goes to Isen Schafer who dropped from 78th to 346th.
• The Movin’ On Up award, sponsored by tonight’s episode of The Jefferson’s on TV Land, goes to Wayne Murray, who climbed out of the 387th place cellar to rise to 112th. There’s still a long way to go.
• The That’s My Girl award goes to my 8-year-old daughter Ashlyn Little, currently (and incredibly) in 20th place. Way to go, Ash-o!
• The first round Top Prognosticator award goes to Tará Wynn and Ben Hodson, who each picked an astonishing 29 out of 32 games correct over the first few days. Even more incredible, neither of these contestants is in first place. That award goes to…
• Leon “Middle Cyclone” Sinoff, with 22 wins and 57 points, is our Contest Leader after round one.
• And by the way, the What In The WORLD Were You Thinking? award also goes to “Big Ben” Hodson, who inexplicably picked Boston University to beat Kansas, a 16-over-1 that still has never happened in 108 tries. This is the same Ben who picked 29 out of 32 games correctly. Boston U? Really? Is that your alma matre or something?

And with that, the next round of games begins in about 9 hours. I had better rest-up! I hope all of you are enjoying the madness so far. Be sure to check your email tomorrow when I will be sharing this year’s installment of “Hot and Not”.

Zzzzzzz….

Contest Home Page

Quick Observation

24 games and 514 contestants – that’s a lot to keep up with, but I’m giving it my best effort. While Ohio State completes the formality of waiting on the final horn to sound in the UTSA debacle, I will jot down a few thoughts from the first eight games of day two.

I think I played a pick-up game with those guys once

If you’ve ever played pick-up basketball at the local park, you will find this scenario all too familiar. In pick-up basketball, defense is optional. In fact, if you get frustrated with your randomly selected teammates for not putting forth the effort on defense necessary to win, they look at you as if you just told them they had rhubarb sprouting from their navels. Pick-up teams play matador defense, shrug their shoulders after getting beaten off the dribble, and demonstrate a general lack of interest in anything other than sprinting down the court and doing their best Michael Jordan imitation. I’ve played with guys…a lot. Have you?

I’m not sure how it happened, but I promise those guys from the playground were wearing Arizona Wildcat uniforms today. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a team more disinterested in anything going on in the game. Their facial expressions and body language were indicative of five guys who had dates after the game and just wanted to get it over with. Were it not for Memphis’ propensity to foul, miss free throws, and generally self-destruct, Arizona would have been the second 5 seed to go home early.

The Pearl of no points

Going into their game with Michigan, there were questions surrounding if Tennessee coach Bruce Pearl would keep his job, and if he didn’t, would his team play hard for him anyway. Both questions were answered in the resounding negative as the Volunteers had a certain portion of their collective anatomy handed to them in a 30-point drubbing. I heard the announcers quip that Michigan made history by winning a tournament game without making a single free throw. They didn’t have to. They were too busy dunking.

Who is this year’s George Mason?

According to the T-Shirts being sported by George Mason fans, this year’s George Mason is George Mason! This was probably the best game of the afternoon in terms of competition and quality of play. While another magical run by George Mason would be a neat story, I think the buzz saw awaiting them in the next round (Ohio State) is going to be too much for them to overcome.

What did he say?

I just can’t resist offering up a couple of quotable quips I heard while watching games today.

• “He came into this game shooting 41% from the line. I think he is going to leave this game shooting 41% from the line, too, if he doesn’t get some arch in that shot.” – Len Elmore
• “That posterior! He’s got a million…dollar…posterior!” – Gus Johnson

Cinderella?

Not today – only ugly step-sisters. And judging by the lopsided final scores we saw today, those are some awfully ugly step-sisters. The only upset of the afternoon was tenth seeded Florida State’s victory over seventh seeded Texas A & M.

A Few Awards

A few midday accomplishments of note:

• The Your Wish Is My Command award goes to Frank “Go Oakland Grizzlies” Riviera. You want the Grizzlies to go? You got it. They are GONE!
• The Riddle Me This, Batman award goes to Jason “Picking by B” Roehl, a pun that I didn’t get even though I was looking for it. It wasn’t obvious until he gave me a hint – “No, I’m not blind.” If you still don’t get it, note that his last name rhymes with rail. If you still don’t get it, email me.
• The Wynner Wynner Chicken Dinner award goes to Tará “NCAA Illiterate” Wynn, whose alias belies her prognosticating abilities. Tará is 22-2 so far!
• The What Do You Have, A Crystal Ball? award goes to our contest leader Ben “Big Ben” Hodson, who thus far is an incredible 23-1, his only miss being Gonzaga’s victory over St. John’s.

And now back to our regularly scheduled basketball. Check back this evening for the day two wrap-up and awards.

The Wizard of Whiteland

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How Many Upsets Were There Today?

I ask that question because it feels like there were a lot when in fact there were only three. That’s right – 16 games, 3 upsets:

1. #11 Gonzaga outplayed #6 St. John’s in just about every way, winning easily.
2. #12 Richmond defeated #5 Vanderbilt in the final minute.
3. #13 Morehead State blew up 50 brackets by defeating #4 Louisville with a killer three-pointer and a “controversial” defensive stop in the final seconds.

And then there were the “almosts”.

• #13 Princeton almost upset #4 Kentucky until Brandon Knight made a driving layup with two seconds left to finally grab those pesky Tigers by the tail.
• #10 Michigan State almost put together the most miraculous comeback of the day. Down 23 at one point, they were within one point of #7 UCLA with the ball in their possession when Kalen Lukas traveled and sealed their fate.
• #10 Penn State almost got it done against #7 Temple before Juan Fernandez channeled the Jimmer and made the game winner just before the buzzer.

Then there were the upsets that weren’t. I personally jumped on the Belmont bandwagon and then was promptly run over by it when Wisconsin made them look silly. And as hard as Kansas State tried to lose to Utah State, Utah State just couldn’t help themselves and mailed it in anyway.

With regard to today’s blowouts, I want to acknowledge that BYU’s Jimmer Fridette is the real deal, Florida beat the ladies pants off the Gauchos, UConn shows no signs of slowing down after winning the Big East tournament, and San Diego State has a legitimate chance of redeeming the “Mountain Worst” in post-season play.

Notable Quotables

Normally I castigate CBS mercilessly for their ineptitude in broadcasting the greatest sporting event of the year. I must say that this year’s partnership with Turner is a welcome addition, and whatever gripes I’ve had with the network have nothing to do with what I consider to be a fine collection of announcers (with the exception of Jim Nantz, who drives me insane and should stick to golf). Just in watching the games today, I was treated to a few quips that I found amusing.

• Speaking of Belmont, Reggie Miller said, “I went to their practice yesterday. Their shirts were all tucked in. They were all wearing the same shoes. And I’m sure I didn’t see a single tattoo on the whole team. Most young players these days are all tatted up.”
• In the same game, Steve Kerr said, “Belmont had 52 substitutions but only 55 points.”
• Calling the Gonzaga-St. John’s game, one of my favorite announcers Vern Lundquist quipped, “Notice, Raf, that I have so far managed to call Sacre’s name without saying, ‘Sacre bleu’.”

Other Noteable Quotes

• “[Kansas State Coach] Frank Martin – that dude is like watching the Metallica bass player. Tapioca death stare!” – Brad Schafer, contest participant.
• “There are a lot of good basketball players out there.” – Mr. Obvious, Charles Barkley
• “Those shoes are ugly.” – My wife, Heather Little, speaking of the yellow shoes sported by some of the UCLA players.

Quasi-Random Observations

• #34 from UCLA could play center for any team in the NFL.
• I would rather lick stamps than watch Wisconsin play basketball. I fell asleep, in fact, while their game was on this evening.
• Shot-blocking seems to be a lot more common this year. I don’t know if it actually is. It just seems like it.
• After making the game-winning basket, Butler’s Matt Howard nearly punched out an Old Dominion player pumping his fist in celebration. I still don’t know how in the world Howard got that ball, let alone made that shot.

Day One Awards

Before I shut the contest machine down for a few hours, let’s hand out a few awards.

• The Teamwork Award goes to the seven members of the Risner family: Deborah, Jordan, Matthew, Megan, Scott, Shelby, and Toby, who realized their entries were listed alphabetically on the contestant picks page and set their aliases such that they read “Fe Fi Fo Fum I smell the blood of an Englishman”. My daughter, Amber, thought that was awesome.
• The Shameless Self-Promotion award goes, once again, to Blake “www.ImagesByBlake.com” Dieringer. I have no idea where he stands in the contest, but I know where to go if I want my picture taken.
• The Don’t Count Your Chickens award goes to Jim Cockrum who touted his 15-1 contest start on Facebook with props to the humble contest manager. Jim is currently tied for 12th.
• Speaking of 15-1, the Nearly Perfect award goes to Jim Cockrum, Ben Hodson, Kurt Emmert, and Anna Deaver, all of whom missed only one game today.
• The I Told You So award goes to Lucas Drone, who as you may recall, picked 28 upsets in the first round and, therefore, won only 4 games today. Lucas’ current rank? 164.
• The I Bet You Were The One They Always Had To Explain The Punchline To As A Kid award goes to RJ Wynn, who texted me today to reveal that he didn’t even realize his alias made such a great pun. As he tells it, R.J. “Just Broke” Wynn was supposed to communicate financial standing and not flatulence.
• The Next Time, Ask Watson award goes to Trevis Litherland who annually uses a self-developed, computer-programmed algorithm to make his picks. This year’s computerized prognosticator is not doing a very good job, frankly, having picked an astonishing number of ridiculous upsets.
• Finally, the Day One Contest Leader award goes to Jane “Go Urbana” Gomez. Jane has 12 wins and 33 points. Jane is also a contest rookie. Great job, Jane, and good luck tomorrow!

Ok, time to catch a few Zs so that we can do this all over again tomorrow. Remember to check the Contest Standings to see how you are doing, along with all the other great reports available on the web site.

The Wizard of Whiteland

Disclaimer: No five-year-olds were harmed in making this contest.

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Whew! I Need To Catch My Breath

So after booking it home from work and placing a quick online order to Pizza Hut, I sat down to watch the last of five fantastic finishes from the first eight games of the tournament. Now that I’ve sucked down my personal pan with sausage and pepperoni and thrown the five-year-old boy in the tub (I didn’t want to take time out from basketball to give him a bath, but he has moss growing from his armpits), I can sit down on the couch with my laptop, remote, and Mt. Dew and furiously hammer out some comments while the next round of games get going. I wonder how long it takes the average five-year-old to get all shriveled up in the tub.

There Are Upsets, and Then There Are Upsets

Five of the first eight games today were decided by a total of 10 points. The favorites came out ahead 3-2, but it just as easily could have been 0-5…or 5-0. Oh, how beautiful is the madness of March.

It was not all that surprising nor unexpected when The Richmond Spiders dispatched the Vanderbilt Commodores assuring the nearly annual ritual of at least one 12 seed advancing to the second round…or is it the third round? Ok, forgive me for interrupting myself, but this would be a good time to award the Boneheaded Play Of The Day award to the NCAA for deciding to call the “First Four” the “First Round” and confusing the majority of the viewing public by calling today’s round the second round. Good grief, gentlemen, four games does not constitute a “round” unless the words elite and eight are involved. Anyway, back to the upsets…

While Richmond’s victory may have been an upset in name only, Morehead State’s stunning defeat of intra-state rival Louisville has the 50 contestants who took them to the Final Four weeping and gnashing their teeth. I must say, I heard ESPN’s Doug Gottleib point to this game as one to watch this morning, and I nearly changed my pick because of it. At this point, I wish I had.

Three other favorites escaped by the hair of their chinny chin chins. Princeton nearly became the second 13 seed in less than two hours to beat a 4 seed from the state of Kentucky, but they came up one defensive play short of victory. Butler won in apparently spectacular fashion involving Matt Howard and a wild scrum for the ball at the buzzer. Unfortunately, I missed that finish due to a meeting at work. Tomorrow, I’m calling in sick. And then there was Temple who beat Penn State on the most impossible step-around leaner you’ve ever seen. In fact, I’m pretty sure it actually was an impossible shot. Show me a replay where both of Juan Fernandez’s feet are in the frame, and I’m willing to bet that he came back down from his leap before he released the ball. This kind of play is one that I have not-so-affectionately referred to as “the Michael Jordan rule” over the years, but I’ll reserve that particular rant for another day.

One Quick Award

Two contestants’ achievement this afternoon is worthy of recognition. The Crazy Eights award goes to Andrew Bolin and Ben Hodson who picked all eight of this afternoon’s games correctly. Who says you can’t win ’em all? Well done, gents.

And now I turn my attention to Belmont vs. Wisconsin. Hopefully the refs will swallow their whistles before fouling out the entire Belmont team and bailing out what I feel is a highly overrated Badger squad.

Before I go, I leave you with this insightful response to my scathing rebuke of the St. Peter’s Peacocks from one alert contestant.

Standing Up For the Peacock

Regarding the tournaments worst mascots, there is no doubt that kangaroos are cool and that peacocks, with their shimmering, flashing feathers could easily be judged as effeminate, but I give the school of St. Peter’s props for having a mascot that is directly related to their school’s history/identity; the peacock was an early symbol of Christianity (and is still used in some regions of the world).

Contrast that with the Duke Blue Devils, a mascot which, as far as I can tell, has absolutely nothing to do with the school, the city, or the state.

Or contrast the peacock with the Ohio Buckeye. Buckeye’s are Ohio’s state tree, so points for them there, but their mascot is the tree’s seed. A seed! And this particular seed is not very interesting. It doesn’t float away on the wind, or helicopter to the ground or get ejected by some kind of explosion or springy thing. It just falls. And once on the ground, it continues to be uninteresting by just sitting there, doing nothing. At least a peacock is animate.

So there you have it, folks. I’d rather be a strutting Peacock from St. Peter’s than a good-for-nothing Buckeye from THE Ohio State University!

The Wizard of Whiteland

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